by Elizabeth Gilbert

Created on: January 22, 2009

Mentoring is a process of demonstrating skills, citizenship and responsibility in a particular environment. In the business world it is the experienced positive role model that mentors the junior executives. So, with this as a model we must look at teens and decide if they are positive role models with the skills and citizenship to pass on to the younger children.

After many years of working with teens as a teacher and a community service advisor I don't believe they should be mentors. Yes, there are many things they can do and many teens are good upstanding young adults. However, they still have to learn how to overcome peer pressure. They are young themselves and love the attention of the younger children and want to be the "popular" guide or counselor or whatever their role is supposed to be.

Therefore, they often make poor choices. These choices sometimes put the younger child in harm's way. It sometimes teaches its okay to cheat if you don't get caught. On occasion it can even lead to teasing others, making fun of another group, or alienating someone within their own group.

Teens attention span is another issue. Many times they are in la la land thinking of the opposite sex, who's on the phone, where the party will be on the weekend. They don't stay focused on the task at hand.

High school students are themselves still children testing the waters. They show off to get attention or show how brave they are. They skirt around the rules, ignore schedules and time limits. This makes for a poor role model for the younger children who look up to them.

The younger children want to be praised by these teen idols. They will go along with anything that teen suggests if it means they will get more attention or a reward of some kind. We should not use mentoring of children as a way to allow teens to see if they're ready. We need to know that whomever has the responsibility is capable of being responsible and well grounded.

Teens make good assistants, group leaders for supervised activities and even cabin monitors as long as they are also being monitored. They are not ready to be in charge of our younger children without close supervision. There are rare exceptions but if you are truly honest with yourself you will realize that all teens test their limits and when they are in charge they can stretch them too far.

Let's not rush our children into adulthood. They need to be allowed to be children for a bit longer. Lessons of peer pressure, following expectations, and being true to themselves without worrying about what others think is enough to learn. Demonstrating responsibility at all times is the final step before they are ready to take charge of others.

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