by Lucinda Witherspoon Joyner

Created on: January 21, 2009

To be honest, I used to feel differently about this subject and could not imagine a woman not knowing she was pregnant and eventually going into labor without knowing what was happening in her body. How can something like this be possible? There should have been some warning or inkling? Maybe the mother-to-be was in a high state of denial and didn't want to believe she was pregnant because of social stigma or economic reasons. Whatever the case, I used to be on the other side of this issue and would even sneer if I heard about someone who didn't know she was going to have a baby until the baby came. Now, I do believe it is possible to give birth without knowing about the pregnancy and here are my reasons why.

After watching the show ""I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"":http://www.tlc.com on The Learning Channel (TLC), I understand how physical and medical issues can mask pregnancy for women. One lady on the show had irregular cycles so, when they were missing, she didn't think anything about it until the baby came. Another woman was diabetic and had been told she could not get pregnant. She ended up having twins. There was even a lady who figured she was going into menopause when her cycle stopped. She had a hard time getting pregnant with her first child and was in her late forties when her second child came along. For the most part, these women were slightly overweight and had medical issues that prevented them getting pregnant before. They also had doctors who did not or could not figure out what was wrong with them and never checked them for pregnancy. I have also heard of instances where regular sized women carry their pregnancies so well no one, including themselves, figures they are expecting until the unexpected arrives.

My major reason for believing in the possibility of being pregnant and not knowing happened to me six years ago. I had my second child, a boy, in the fall of 2001. I was trying to breastfeed him, hold down a job, work in my church, and go to school which didn't leave much time for romance with my husband. Somehow, though, we found the time and it was fun and funny (I won't go into details here about it). My baby boy decided after almost four months of mommy's milk that he didn't want it anymore and practically switched himself to formula and in a cup no less! I was heartbroken and couldn't figure out why he did it. Then, I found myself without a cycle and it never occurred to me that it wasn't because of stress or the after effects of child induced weaning. Even when I felt a sort of fluttery feeling in my tummy, we still didn't think I could be pregnant (my husband told me it was just gas which aided my denial). It wasn't until I was over five months along that we found out I was pregnant again. Shouldn't weight gain have tipped me off? No because I had just delivered about eight months prior and had not lost that baby's weight yet. What about morning sickness, cravings, fatigue? I didn't get sick, I never had weird cravings (unless McDonald's Big Macs are weird cravings), and I actually had more energy than I would normally have, including when I wasn't pregnant. Yes, I am now a believer of being pregnant and not knowing. We, to this day, say our daughter snuck up on us. We are so glad she did.

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