by Elizabeth Gilbert

Created on: January 21, 2009

What to think when your child's grade takes a plunge

As a parent your first instinct is to blame the child. So we ask the child what's happening. Why are the grades falling? After all they should know what is going on in school, right.

There are many excuses that the child might present to send you in that direction.

They lost their homework

They couldn't find their notes to study.

They loaned their notes or book to a friend.

They keep forgetting to bring the homework home

They turned it in but the teacher lost it.

They were in the bathroom when the assignments were given.

The list is endless but should still give you a clue. Something's going on with your child and you need to find out what that something is. Your first plan of attack should be to talk to the teacher/teachers.

Teachers observe your child day in and day out. They see how they interact with other children, how they treat other children, and how they behave during breaks and lunch. Those observations should be considered as relevant information in your search for the truth. If it truly is for lack of effort the teacher can clear that up immediately.

Teachers and social workers always look at the grades from all the classes and then begin to find out what has changed in the child's routine or relationship with someone to account for the falling grades. Parents need to do the same thing.

Children are embarrassed, angry, and secretive if something negative is happening to them. They don't know who to trust. You think they should but they don't know where sharing will lead and they don't want anymore stress or problems so they stay quiet.

That's not to say that the child might not have found a new friend (particularly of the opposite sex if its middle school or high school) that has distracted them and they're moving in a new direction. They are no longer focused on school except for the time it will give them with their new found friend.

Perhaps they have started a new sport or school activity and they are so involved they lost track of schoolwork. Sometimes a new activity is a sign that something is bothering them and they need a new place to hide or hangout away from a perpetrator. It could be an upper classman that bullies them, a gang that wants them to join, or even the worst scenario a sexual predator.

The main thing is to not jump to conclusions. Keep your cool and first talk to the teacher. Once you know whether the child is on task at school then you approach the child with valuable information. You

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