by Monica L. Garrett

Created on: January 21, 2009

A spiral staircase in front of me, a stack of files in my arms, a growing baby in my belly and I am faced with a decision. I've been going up and down this staircase several times per day and I've slipped a few times. The last time was the worst. I almost fell. My growing child doesn't deserve the fall. This is my job. My only source of income. I'm going to be a single mom and I have no savings.

I still have the decision to make. My stomach is hurting. My arms are growing tired from holding several pounds of thick legal files. The staircase awaits. I'm scared I'm going to trip and fall. I'm scared I will hurt the child I am carrying that is counting on me. A million thoughts are going through my mind. My rent. My power bill. My unborn child. The pain in my stomach. The fall I almost took this morning. My unborn child!

I am not sure how long I stood in front of that very small and intimidating staircase before making my decision. I was in a high risk pregnancy and the best job I had ever had was in the air as to whether or not I could handle it being pregnant. I had always worked. I was working from home when I got pregnant but that ended when my largest client went bankrupt, leaving me facing debt and despair.

The staircase awaits. The boss is in the office next to the staircase. The nosy women in the office are looking, wondering why I haven't gone up to my cubicle yet. My heart is pounding. The angel on my shoulder says to think of my child and the devil on the other shoulder says I can't afford to quit.

Babies are miracles. To be pregnant is a huge responsibility. If I fall and lose my unborn child, I will not regret not paying my light bill. I will always and forever regret losing this dear precious life inside of me. I turn and walk to my supervisor's office. I put the files on the table. She glares at me. Her vacation is upon us and she wants nothing more than for me to take on all of her work so she can leave.

I start to speak. I tell her that I am pregnant. Oh, yes, I failed to mention that when I was hired. I wanted to. I just didn't want to not be given the chance to work and I needed a job. I needed the job I was about to quit. I tell my supervisor that I am pregnant and having abdominal pain. I need to leave and go to the doctor. I leave it at that.

I drive to the doctor's office. I'm high risk and hurting. The doctor will not be pleased with the incident on the stairs this morning. I caught myself but several pounds of files and a metal guard rail were

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