by Kayla Griffin

Created on: January 21, 2009   Last Updated: February 25, 2009

Life as a parent can be overwhelming, we all know raising children is not easy. It always happens when we are busiest, our child will say or do something that we need to address immediately. In the middle of the hectic commotion, we start giving our child a speech (or preaching). We speak about our frustrations, and how their actions were wrong. As you're speaking you look down at your child who is fidgeting, and really not paying attention to you at all.

Our relationships with our children work like our relationships with our spouse, friends and family. If we do not give them our time, and listen to their concerns; than we are teaching them this is an acceptable behavior, and communication style. When we "preach" to our children they distance themselves from the situation, we lose them in what we are trying to teach them. There are ways, however, of making your "preaching" words into "teaching" words. It will be the basis for healthy communication, and a better relationship in the future.

Eye Contact

Making eye contact with your child is one of the most effective ways of getting your child to "hear" you. Get down to their level and communicate with them. Making eye contact shows your child you are paying attention to them. This is what we want from them. Oftentimes by showing them the respect we ourselves want, we teach them how important it is.

Ask Questions

Ask them questions! It is one thing to give your child trouble for something they should not have done. It is another to get to the bottom of why they have done it. When you ask questions your child feels important, like a member of the conversation. This also gives you the opportunity to ask your child what they should have done differently. Your child will appreciate being heard. You will appreciate your child listening. If you want your child to listen to you, try listening to them. Children learn through example.

Giving your full Attention

It is best to avoid having these conversations when you are in the middle of something. These conversations should take place when you are able to sit, and listen to what your child is saying. Remember, you should not be Preaching to them. You should give them advice, and help them to establish what they have done wrong all on their own.

This will better equip them to make more responsible choices as they get older, and you have less control. This also can give you the opportunity to gather your own thoughts on what you would like to say to your child. Hearing their opinions,

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>