My mother, a devout Christian, always told me "the world should be a better place because a man (or woman) has lived." She spent her entire life helping others, and I have tried to follow her example. Although I've fallen far short of her altruism, I found that as a teacher, I had the rare opportunity to make a difference in the lives of many children.
Let me preface by saying that I'm not some wonderful, selfless person. I do what I do for selfish motives. I love the feeling I get when helping others.
Many of my students came from very poor homes. Since they were teenagers, they usually did a pretty good job of hiding this fact. Once in a while, however, I would discover that one or two didn't have money for lunch. I don't know how many times I've loaned or given hungry students a couple of bucks to ensure they would have something to eat at noon. This was such a little thing to me, but it meant so much to the students who would otherwise have gone without lunch.
I remember one time, a boy named Pat was going on a trip with a school club. He, along with the rest of the members, had sold barbecue plates to raise the necessary funds. Their lodging and meals were included, but they were planning a trip to a zoo, which was not included in the package. I found out from another student that Pat didn't have the money for the zoo trip. He had never been to the zoo and was both disappointed and embarrassed that his mom couldn't afford to give him the extra cash needed. I called him out into the hall and gave him $20. This great big, strapping football player broke down and cried as he gave me a bear hug.
A couple of years ago I had a senior who was pregnant. She was a wonderful student, but her family was destitute. I discovered that she had been raped and refused to get an abortion. One day she began crying in class. I called her into the hall to find out the problem. She had absolutely no clothes for the baby, and it was due in January, our coldest month. She had been given a used carseat and crib, but no clothes. After school, I went to Walmart and purchased warm baby clothes. I also got used clothing from friends. The next day I gave the mom-to-be the items. You would have thought she had just won the lottery!
I could go on and on about similar stories, but I think you get the picture. These were just little things to me, but they were very important to the recipients. It seems that the students I helped financially never forget these small acts of kindness. I still get cards and letters from some of them, thanking me about things that I had sometimes not even remembered.
Another way I helped students on a regular basis was to listen to them. Sometimes I felt like half teacher and half guidance counselor. Our school had guidance counselors, but some students didn't feel comfortable discussing personal problems with strangers. Since they knew me better, they would often bring their troubles to me. Sometimes they just needed a sounding board, and other times they asked for advice. I always made sure I was approachable. The short time I spent listening to students on a one-to-one basis did not cost me a cent, yet it was often invaluable to the troubled teen.
As a teacher, I had the opportunity to shape lives. I always felt that teenagers were at the crossroads of childhood and adulthood, and they were at the critical point of shaping the kind of adult they would ultimately become. If a few bucks or a few minutes of my time would help them solve their problems or help them choose a career or college, I was more than willing to do so. My rewards have been rich. They come to me years later, as a successful nurse, or teacher, or social worker, and tell me what a difference I made in their lives. I assure you, the feeling this gives me is indescribable!
Since I retired from teaching, I miss the opportunities it provided. As I was ordering Christmas presents for my grandchildren a couple of months ago, I thought about how I could impact the lives of children this holiday season. I went to my local DEFACS and asked about adopting a family for Christmas.
The case worker was elated that I was willing to help. She told me their most destitute family was one with ten children. I didn't think I could afford to buy for ten kids, but I hated to turn her down. I talked to my best friend, Sandy, about the situation, and she agreed to help. I called the social worker and told her we'd take the family.
We spent weeks buying clothes, toys, shoes, books, and school supplies for the kids and the parents. Always the teacher, I also used it as a learning experience for my grandchhildren. I assigned each of them one child to buy toys for. I hope this made them realize how fortunate they are, along with the fact that not everyone will awaken Christmas morning to a tree full of toys. I also hoped that the exercise would instill in them a desire to help others.
After Christmas, we got a letter from the father of the family we helped. He said it was, by far, the best Christmas his children had ever had. They had begged and begged for a Play Station, but he couldn't afford to buy them one. But we had purchased one for them among numerous other toys and games. That letter started off my new year with joy and hope. I hope those needy children grow up and become successful adults, and that they'll remember how a total stranger helped them in a time of need, and that they'll pay it forward someday.
There are thousands of ways to make a difference in the lives of children. Become a Big Sister or a Big Brother; volunteer to read to preschoolers; donate to a charity; take clothes to a homeless shelter; drop off toys to a halfway house for abused women and children; buy a box of Girl Scout cookies. Anything you can do to help children will ensure that we have a future generation of citizens who are concerned about their fellow man. The world will be a better place.