by Barbara Stanley

Created on: January 20, 2009   Last Updated: April 02, 2012

Although my two children grew up with a mother and a father in the house, I was the only active participant in raising my children. This type of situation leads to anger, resentment, and feelings of being rejected by your husband. There are several reasons why a mother or father would find themselves raising a child or children alone, including a spouse who refuses to participate in raising the children, death of the child's father or mother, or the absent parent is in prison..

Realizing where your anger comes from and how much control you have over the cause of your anger is the first assessment a parent needs to make. Do whatever is necessary and within your ability to change the reason for your anger. There will always be situations and circumstances that you have little or no control over. Feelings of loneliness, frustration, anger, and hopelessness will be feelings that come and go often in the life of every person. When you feel that you are close to losing control over your emotions, tell your children that you need a time out. Give yourself a few minutes to be by yourself in another room where you are free to cry, rip pages from a book, write, "I hate you", on the mirror with lipstick, or whatever you need to do as an outlet for your negative emotions.

This may be difficult when your children are very young and cannot be left alone even for a few minutes. If it is impossible to leave the room, have an "I am angry" party with your children. Keep old newspapers or magazines in a special place to use for this party. You and your children can vent frustrations by ripping and tearing the paper together. Make a game of the clean-up needed afterward. Give a small prize to the one who picks up the most paper. Of course, you will want to give each child a prize, so keep several healthy snacks on hand.

If you do slip and take your anger out on your child, always apologize. Parents make the mistake of thinking they do not owe their children an apology. This is the best way to show your children how to treat others when they have offended someone. A child still has all the emotions an adult has. Children get angry too. Children become frustrated at never having a father to attend special events with. Most importantly, children have fears. "What if my mother dies, who will take care of me?" Children fear losing the family home, being embarrassed because they don't have spending money like the other kids

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