by Rebecca Dyson

Created on: January 20, 2009

I have never chosen my friends based on their color. And as a parent, I have taught my children to choose their friends based on who they are, not what color they are. As a result, my children have had friends of all races throughout their growing up years.

Exposure to other races is an important factor. A few years ago we moved to a small town that was predominantly a white farming community. There were but a few minority families. Fortunately my children were already well-grounded in accepting others and the lack of diversity was not problematic for them.

We did see discrimination, however, and it upset us all terribly. One example was when my daughter and a couple of her friends were coming home from a town thirty or so mile away. They were pulled over. The driver (who was black) was issued a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. The white boy in the back seat, who also did not have a seat belt on, was not ticketed.

When the kids got home they asked me why. I was appalled by the experience and didn't really know what to say. How do you justify inappropriate, discriminatory behavior in anyone, much less law enforcement?

I explained that there are people in the world who think their race is better than other people's races. I explained that some people judge others based on race. Since my children had never considered race as a factor, they were confused and unhappy. They simply did not understand.

The conversation went on for a very long time. My daughter's friend, who has been a part of our lives since the kids were in elementary school tried to explain times when she had been discriminated against. My children were outraged.

Ultimately, I explained that we can all make a difference if we focus on doing the right thing. I told them we needed to lead by example. I explained that in a small town where there are very few minorities, the exposure is limited. In a school of only 300 students, one black student stands out against the 299 white students. People tend to be harsh toward things they don't know much about. Racial differences fall into this category for those who are not exposed to racial differences.

My children speak out against discrimination. They stand up for those who are targeted by the mainstream, be it because of their religion or their race or anything else. They choose their friends based on personality and not color. One small step, but if every parent teaches their child to see racial difference as an enhancement to their life and not a threat, eventually this world will become a better place.

When you discuss racial differences with your child, be open and honest. Above all, if you have your own prejudices, do not pass them on to your children. That will only perpetuate the problem. We are all one people, regardless of race, culture, sexual orientation, gender. And if we can cross those lines and truly become one people, our society can only be the better for it.

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