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this roof as this would shield them from the multiple hurricanes that ravaged the country this year. But the engineer in me came up with a perfect solution. We should make this roof retractable so that we can let the hurricanes through as necessary and trap them once they are inside. This should prevent any hurricanes from hitting the Gulf region any more and we might as well get rid of FEMA for good. The motors for the retraction mechanism can be placed in Gitmo once Obama closes it down. Do I need to mention that the orders for these machines would further boost the manufacturing sector?

Now, I am often asked how this would be a fiscally conservative plan. I failed to mention that this is only the second part of the bill that I am suggesting. The first part includes scrapping Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security and mandates the states and local governments to stop funding universities and schools and funnel all the money into the second part of the bill. This should ensure massive Republican support for the new President. Granted, this bill may run into a few trillions, but as it's part of the defense spending, that shouldn't be an issue.

President-elect Obama has said that he would bring the brightest minds to work for the revival of the economy. So I formulated the plan by heeding the advice from the best of them. Nobel laureate Paul Krugman has been saying in his columns that the government should be the big spender during hard times. Then I looked at the playbook of the recent "fiscal conservative" administrations that the only way for the government to spend while being fiscally conservative is to do so through the defense budget. We may run a deficit of a few hundred trillions, but honestly, balancing budgets is for tax-and-spend wusses like Bill Clinton.

So it is clear that my master plan takes care of the economy, creates jobs, spreads democracy, prevents natural calamities and takes care of the environment. And if this stimulus proves to be insufficient, we can always go for a bigger one. We already have another country that could help with more sanctions like thisIran. These may be extraordinary measures, but remember that these are extraordinary times. We need to take bold actions. Mr. President, are you ready?

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