by Patricia Rainford

Created on: January 19, 2009

To the extreme left we have the stay-at-home mothers who say that working moms ("working" being a term used to indicate that Mom is out of the house at least 40 hours a week or more and has their child in day care or uses a full time sitter) cannot be good mothers. They must not love their children because they aren't there for them. Working mothers would rather someone else clean the messes, potty train, and do the hard stuff so they shove their child into day care rather than take care of them themselves.

To the extreme right we have the working mothers who say that stay-at-home mothers are taking a step back in time, teaching their children that women are supposed to be confined in the home, solely living for the needs of their husband and children. They are setting a bad example for young girls, teaching them that they shouldn't go out and work, they shouldn't go out and follow their dreams. Stay-at-home moms are lazy, that there isn't possibly THAT much housework to do, that it's just an excuse not to go out and work for a living. All they do is sit at home and watch soap operas.

A bit harsh, yes, but only because it's the same drivel I've read on various online forums over the years. It's all nonsense. It's all irrelevant.

And here's my version:

Working mothers are doing what they think is best for themselves and their families. They are tired, they are unappreciated, they are loving. They kiss boo-boos and they read bedtime stories. They give baths where they get soaked from head to toe and they have spit up stains on their shirts. They gag at the nuclear diapers and they have a can of Resolve on hand during potty training. They love their children more then life itself. Their choices do not affect the stay-at-home mom in any way, shape, or form.

Stay-at-home mothers are doing what they think is best for themselves and their families. They are tired, they are unappreciated, they are loving. They kiss boo-boos and they read bedtime stories. They give baths where they get soaked from head to toe and they have spit up stains on their shirts. They gag at the nuclear diapers and they have a can of Resolve on hand during potty training. They love their children more then life itself. Their choices do not affect the working mom in any way, shape, or form.

What's great about the United States and many other free countries is that individuals can choose what they wish to do with their lives. However, with society and family wanting to dictate what is best for one another, the pressure to do what others want us to do versus what we want to do can be at best degrading, humiliating, and put a lot more stress and strain on a person then what society wants to admit. Whether a mother works or not is not something to get in a heated debate about. Neither side's choices affects the others' lives. People should focus on what's best for their own children instead of worrying about someone else's children when abuse is not a factor.

If you want a debate, find something worth debating about like valid healthcare or our inadequate economy. A loving mother is a loving mother, whether working or staying at home.

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