by Kimberly Davis

Created on: January 19, 2009

How many times have you been dating someone and thought about spending the rest of your life with them? In the scenario, are you wondering whether or not they leave the cap off the toothpaste, or snore, or clean their house/apartment on a weekly basis? Unless you are living with your significant other, you are not usually focusing on the small things about their personalities - the things you don't see unless you spend an inordinate amount of time at their place, or them at yours. You see them for who they are when you're together, out on dates or spending time with friends.

More often then not you probably wonder what they are like to live with. Can you marry this person without knowing their habits - their daily lives? The only logical way to deduce if you can spend your life with them is to live with them, right? Wrong. Studies show that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who don't. And I'm not talking about the Hollywood marriages that last for three months before they cheat on each other with their new co-stars, or the drunken weekend in Vegas marriages.

The biggest argument for co-habitation before marriage is that it's the only way to really get to know a person before you consider marriage. While this is true, giving you an inner look at a person's private life, this may be to your relationship's downfall. People who live together are more likely to get into what I like to call "the comfort zone". You live with someone, get to know them, share expenses, inter-weave your lives together until you're comfortable in the situation. Just thinking about being single, finding your own place to live, paying for things all by yourself, living alone, all of it becomes unfathomable and even scary and uncomfortable to think about. So where does the comfort of the situation end, and the love of the other person begin anymore?

At this point you're merely staying in the relationship for the sake of being in one. The thought of dissecting your life to be alone again makes living with your significant other tolerable, even if you don't love them anymore - or in some cases, even like them. In most cases, these types of situations lead to co-habitation for years and nothing more. Half the time, you won't even get married, because let's face it, at this juncture, what's the point? You have all the benefits of marriage without the official title itself, and if you're not in love anymore, why be married?

Another argument I've heard

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