by Jordan Brubaker

Created on: January 19, 2009

Spanking has it's place. It is but one foundational element in good parenting. Spanking works well as a disciplinary tool only if it is used correctly. It must be used with understanding. You must understand the character of the child; the child's temperament, track with his or her actions and know your child well.

In some personality types the child has a particularly strong will. This has often been seen as a negative trait by parents. It is difficult for the parent to work with such a child if there is not an understanding of what a positive thing this strong will is. This strong will could, if focused correctly, catapult the child into great success in the future. Spankings should be used less often with this type. A choice given is more effective in directing this child to a more positive object for his or her strong will to be focused on. If a strong willed child is given choices acceptable to the parent and them then the child retains the control they desire and does not butt heads with the parent as easily. In fact this child will come to see the parent as someone who helps them see opportunities. Spankings should still be used in the instance of great defiance or rather after. The child and the parent should have at least twenty minutes of deescalation from the height of the anger or other intense emotion in a conflict situation. Then the parent should go to the child, talk with the child about the situation, and make sure there is understanding of what happened. The parent should make sure there is understanding why the spanking is necessary and then the spanking should take place. It should be a painful experience but not excessive. Then, the parent should affirm his love for them and concern for their well being. In a strong willed child a spanking in the middle of escalation will serve to challenge the child's will, and excessive spanking will create anger and hatred toward the parent and eventually the child's will could be broken; this is very damaging to the child in his or her life because he was given by God a strong will and then it was communicated by the parent that it's not alright for them to be who they are. This is definitely not the goal of spanking. Spanking is meant to serve as a demonstration of love and authority to turn the child back to knowledge of the parents love for them.

With a child who is more compliant it is more difficult to spank this child because the natural response of the parent is to prefer the child who is easier

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