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There are so many books written on the subject of happiness that you would think we'd all be frolicking in the streets, giggling like school girls by now. Trust me, I'm guilty of shopping in the self-help aisle with the best of them. And, even though there is some good advice to be gleaned from the Wayne Dyers and Deepak Chopras of the world, nothing can be done to change your life, if you aren't willing to change how you think about it.

Perception is a very powerful thing...even more powerful than your mother's nagging, if you can believe that. And, happiness, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Before I run through any more cliches to prove my point, I'll tell you what I have learned in my thirty years on this planet.

1. The past does not own you - If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times: "How can I be happy with the kind of childhood/misfortune/bad haircut/etc. I've had?" The past has no power to control your today.

Your perception of the injuries that you've suffered and carried around with you all these years is just a thought that you've let control you. I would even venture to guess that if you examined whatever horrible event that you thought was holding you back you would find that it was a blessing in disguise.

2. Family, friends, and other "F" words - Much unhappiness is cultivated from our closest relationships. We constantly seek approval and fulfillment from the people around us, only to be disappointed when it doesn't come.

If you want respect, love and support then stop seeking it. The people who receive the most approval are the ones who don't care if they receive it or not. The only person's opinion of you that matters is your own. Be the most authentic you that you can be, and the love will follow.

3. So much stuff, so many attachments - Less is more. Repeat that mantra to yourself as many times as is necessary. Having more junk that you don't need filling up your life only takes up more space and gives you more things to dust. You don't need as much as you have. Which brings me to....

4. Thanks, Big Guy - Gratitude is essential. If you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back, then you are luckier than many people in this world.

Be grateful for everything, whether you perceive it to be a good or bad thing. It is there for you. And, remember, if you aren't grateful for what you have right now there's no way to attract anything that you want into your life.

5. Meditation and the Ohm - I wish that this was taught in schools. Meditation is not some voodoo mind trance...there's no need to be afraid of it. It's as simple as breathing in and out. When you learn to calm the mind and not let the sixteen voices in your head run around with no supervision, you'll find that you can unearth the peaceful and serene self that is buried deep inside you.

6. Give it away - Last, but certainly not least: Give what you can. And, if you think you can't, then give some anyway. I'm not saying that you have to give up your whole paycheck to charity. You can certainly donate to a cause that touches your heart. But, you can give in many ways: an act of kindness, volunteering your time, or just listening to a friend. Get yourself out of your own head and be of service to someone or something that needs you.

I've learned (through much trial and error) that being happy is not as hard as we've made it out to be. It all comes down to a choice. You can choose to be miserable...and it's quite easy to do since almost everyone around you is complaining about how miserable they are. Or you can choose to appreciate each moment that you have to enjoy. Everyone is capable of creating their own happiness. All you have to do is change your mind.

Learn more about this author, Leslie Conner.
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