by Christine G.

Created on: January 19, 2009

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison

You, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness. Other people can't give it to you; more stuff can't give it to you; recognition and awards can't give it to you. Happiness is a do-it-yourself proposition. Life hands each of us a personalized kit with everything we need, and we put it together, one piece at a time.

So - where to start?

Stop worrying about whether you are happy or not. Observe yourself, find out what activities give you energy, joy and fulfilment, and do more of them. At the same time, reduce those activities which drain your energy, put out the light of joy, and leave you feeling worthless and depleted.

Move out of Shouldville, make your own decisions, and deal with the consequences as they come. Your preferences, your emotions, your perceptions, and your needs are uniquely yours. Other people may wish to tell you what you SHOULD think, feel, or be, but they don't have to live with the results. You do.

Get out of your rut. Challenge the way you have always done things. If something isn't working for you, try something different. Get out of binary thinking (this OR that) and think of multiple approaches to the conundrums of life.

As much as possible, live in the here and now. That's where the action is. Even if the past is a nice place to visit, don't try to live there. Don't let worries about the future steal your joy today.

Keep your expectations realistic. Be flexible. If you insist on getting exactly what you imagine you want, you will be chronically disappointed.

Be ready for bumps and bruises. They are part of life. Handling them with grace and courage will build character.

Practise random acts of kindness. Try not to get caught. This is one of the best anti-depressants there is.

Share. Giving helps us feel rich. There is no poverty worse than having nothing to give.

Beware of shortcuts to bliss! That includes mind-blowing substances, get-rich-quick schemes, and any other ploy that promises instant gratification or perpetual euphoria.

Ask for help when you need it; give help when you can.

Develop both your logical side and your creative, intuitive side. Don't be afraid to dance, paint pictures, or write poems. If these activities give you pleasure, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Commit to discipline and structure. Rigid regimentation squelches individuality and creativity, but the other extreme leaves you floating aimlessly through the day, with no sense of purpose or achievement. There is great satisfaction in making a decision and carrying it out.

If you don't know how to play, learn. Engage in "useless" activities, preferably with animals and children. Learn to laugh for no reason at all.

Look after yourself without neglecting the needs of others. Forgetting ourselves is a gateway to abundant living.

Happiness comes in many flavors. Explore your options, try different strategies, and be open to change. You have only one life to live. Make the most of it.

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