by Monica L. Garrett

Created on: January 19, 2009   Last Updated: April 19, 2011

Hand-written, snail mailed letters are a thing of the past for most people. If you love someone who is incarcerated, I hope you've picked up a pen and paper and written them weekly. If not, consider starting. Designate 15 minutes on a particular day of the week to write a letter to them.

Aside from visitation, mail is probably the most important thing a prisoner can receive. They look forward to mail and it helps give them a look into what is going on with their loved ones. It gives them a break from the life they are living. This is an important time of reflection because it will likely make them regret what they've done and wish they had another chance to be free again.

Letters are good also because they can picked up and reread whenever your relative is feeling discouraged. The last thing anyone wants for their relative is for them to continue down a path of crime, deception, danger and misery. Encouragement is an important factor in the recovery of anyone with a problem.

If you live near the prison, you can consider visitation. This is something you'll need to prepare yourself for if you've never visited anyone in prison. The first time I visited someone in prison I was treated like I was the prisoner. I was not prepared for the way I was treated or the process I had to go through.

You will likely be treated as if you've done something wrong. Prison guards and employees are not welcoming and friendly. They have a process to follow. You aren't checking into a hotel and you have to realize where you are and that it is quite different from anything you've experienced before.

The prison will have designated visiting hours. You'll arrive early and sign in. You'll wait until they call you, at which point you must remove all jewelry and other belongings in a locker. You may only have a clear purse with cigarettes, lighter, etc. I am sure the rules vary among prisons. You can have a certain amount of money to spend on vending.

Vending is a big deal to prisoners at visitation. The food and drinks are not something they get any other time. You'll probably want to buy them some of these items. Bring enough cash for that.

Next, you'll go into the visitation area with other visitors. You'll have to wait until the prisoners are checked in. They will then come into the room. Once they have another roll call, they will be allowed to come to the table where you are seated. I'm sure the process varies some amongst prisons. The process I'm referring to is a low security area of the prison.

Just because your loved one is in prison doesn't mean you can't still have a relationship with them. They still need the love and attention that you, as a relative, can give. This will hopefully lead them on the path to recovery. They must learn that the actions that put them in prison are not acceptable behavior and if released, they must obey the law.

Not everyone in prison committed murder or some horrendous crime. Some end up their due to drug addictions and just choosing the wrong path and the wrong friends. There is hope for these people to recover, learn from their mistakes and move on once released.

Be strong and just remember, you did not commit the crime. They are paying for their own actions. You can support their recovery without supporting what they did wrong.

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