The funny thing about depression is . . .
Actually, I can't think of anything funny about depression. You're always tired, crying, listless, and, well, depressed. You don't feel lonely. You feel alone; totally and utterly alone. Lonely is a temporary feeling when you're not getting enough attention. Alone is a lingering, haunting feeling that happens whether you're with other people or not.
When you're depressed, you're always alone. Whether you have friends or not, you feel friendless. Nothing any of your friends does to "cheer you up" does any good.
It can be very difficult to keep from feeling like a failure. You think, "I have had all the advantages of a supportive family and a good upbringing, but here I am anyway." This is especially true during difficult financial times. When I was twenty-two, I was living hand-to-mouth, depending on the kindness of family.
I'd never been even close to getting married. My mother had virtually nothing to brag about, or so I thought. I couldn't even keep my apartment clean. It's easy to fall into these feelings of failure when we're young and struggling.
It's important to try to remember, though, that life has just begun. When I was twenty-two, I had to remind myself that I wasn't a failure; I was a work-in-progress. I realized I couldn't think of myself as "full of potential" forever, but there was plenty of time to change, improve, and move forward.
More than a decade later, and I still have trouble keeping my apartment clean, but I know I'm not a failure. I got a handle on the depression through medication. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but my daily medication helps me to better cope with difficulty. I also learned to look for the joy in life.
Do I still get depressed? Sure. The difference now is that, even when I feel alone, I know I'm not. There are millions of us out there, struggling with an imbalance of chemicals in our brains that makes it that much harder to get out of bed in the morning. Some of us find help in the form of medication. Others find talk therapy works best for them. Many find the most success with a combination of the two. Unfortunately, not everyone gets help. This is a disease that can be fatal.
If you think you might be depressed, don't think of it as a flaw, because it's not. Depression is the result of a chemical imbalance. It is not your fault. Instead of beating yourself up or tearing yourself down, have the strength and the courage to ask for help. You, your family, and your friends will all be glad that you did.