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Created on: January 18, 2009
"It's just a phase." "He's just being a teenager." "He's a good kid. Just give it time. He'll turn himself around."
Five years ago, when my then thirteen year old son, "A" began to exhibit increasingly bizarre and often frightening behaviors this was the type of well meaning advice that I received from friends, family, and sadly, even a few mental health professionals alike. My son was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and his journey toward wellness has had an incredible impact upon our entire family.
Healthyplace.com defines bipolar disorder as an illness marked by dramatic mood swings. Individuals can shift between the depths of depression and "manic" phases which can be marked by extremely elevated mood, but also, as in my son's case, can be times of extreme anger, agitation, irritability and high risk behaviors. It often begins in adolescence and can be mistaken in its early stages for the normal mood swings associated with puberty. However, depending upon the frequency and severity of the "manic" episodes it can quickly become apparent that something far more serious is going on.
The impact on family life is tremendous. "A" first began exhibiting symptoms at age eleven. His grades took a nose dive. He seemed exhausted for no good reason. His personal hygiene was terrible and his previously sunny disposition was replaced by a dark and brooding quality. I became a single parent just after his second birthday but "A" and I had always had a close and loving relationship. But something was definitely happening to him; something that I didn't understand.
Bewilderment
As a parent my first reaction was one of bewilderment. What is going on? Is this just puberty or something more? I think at this stage a parent needs to first trust her instincts. You know your child better than anyone else does. If your "gut feeling" is telling you that this isn't just normal teenage angst, trust that feeling. I once took "A" to a psychiatrist who spoke to him for fifteen minutes and then called me in and proceeded to tell me (in front of my son) that there was "nothing wrong with him" besides a "normal teenaged attitude". This so-called doctor then went on to say that he would be willing to "prescribe him something" if it would "make me feel better."
This assessment just didn't ring true for me and unfortunately I was right. Six weeks later, during a severe manic episode, my son jumped from my still moving vehicle while we were driving down a busy street at 4:00 in the afternoon.
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