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Are you having twins?

Oh I just love this one. I received this wonderful comment with each and every one of my three pregnancies. The best response I could muster is, "No, I just have big babies."

The first time I heard this, I was so hurt. I was more than hurt I was completely devastated. This had to have been the most hurtful thing anyone could have ever said to me. I left that store and instantly began to sob. Did I really look that fat? I already felt like the size of a house. This comment just cemented that feeling down. Yes, you do look like the size of a house.

It was within a week of my due date and I had already gained 66 pounds. I was heavier than I had ever been in my life. For a newlywed of only 18, I was completely destroyed. Some people just lack any couth.

With each pregnancy I gained over 60 pounds. My boys arrived at 8 pounds 11 ounces, 8 pounds 14 ounces, and 9 pounds 10 ounces. With my first one I was completely un-prepared for quite the large baby that I was having. I did not know the gender and had not been given an estimate of his size. One other downfall to all of this is, I have the unfortunate privilege of looking very pregnant very fast. By six week I am already wearing maternity clothing.
At two months pregnant I typically look four to six months along. By the time my eighth month rolls around I do look like the size of a house.

A much better way of approaching this situation is to ask, "When is your baby due?" If you are hang twins you would most likely respond with "They are due on May 1st." If you are having just one baby then they most likely will respond with just a date. This solves the problem, avoiding any embarrassment or humiliation.

I completely understand that people are just curious by the miracle of pregnancy. However, you must keep in mind the other side effect of pregnancy. Emotional. You wear you emotions on your sleeve. Please pick your word very careful. Every women is different along with every pregnancy. Telling a pregnant woman she is fat, either directly or indirectly, is definitely not the best way to go. There will always be the situation were you choose wisely and nothing is right. But please please please, never ask a pregnant women if they are having twins, unless you are 100% sure that they are. And always remember what your mother told you, "If you cant say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Learn more about this author, Cee Peterson.
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