Dealing with rude people is not easy. Your knee-jerk reaction may be to dish the behavior right back, but that is often not appropriate in the office or at family gatherings.

And you do not want to escalate the situation. At the same time, you do not want someone to be allowed to offend others, especially women and children.

While rude people are challenging, you must remember this rule of thumb when dealing with them: you can only control your reactions to their behavior. The less you let them get under your skin, the better off you will be.

Dealing with obnoxious people is tough, given that you operate from a totally different perspective and try to think of others when choosing your words and actions.

Even more challenging is that dealing with rude people is not always black and white, as there are a lot of gray areas. For example, the way you deal with a jerk on the highway may differ from how you handle your obnoxious drunken uncle at the family reunion.

Your end goal, though, should be the same and that is to try not to take the offensive behavior personally. You also want to take the high road when possible.

Below are a few tactics you can consider taking when faced with dealing with a rude person.

* Try not to react.

While it can be tough to do, the better you can learn not to react to the behavior of a rude person, the better you will feel about yourself. For example, if someone makes a rude comment to you, then you can try to ignore it.

Or, if a person breaks in front of you in traffic, hold yourself back from giving them an obscene gesture. What you are doing is not allowing yourself to engage in their bad behavior.

You are restraining yourself from sinking to their level. While not an easy thing to do, the ability to react less will become more second nature over time.

* Kill them with kindness.

Rude people want you and others to be miserable with them. One tactic you can use to slow them down is to kill them with kindness.

No matter what kind of jerk you are dealing with, you will disarm them if you treat them very nicely, even in the midst of their shameful remarks or actions.

* Remove your emotions.

One great tactic is to visualize rude people as insects such as a fly. You cannot avoid them, but you can learn to perceive them as annoying pests. Take your emotions out of the situation, and get away from them!

* Do not get too close to an offensive person.

When you know someone is out to be rude, then try to keep your distance. There is very little you can gain from bonding with this negative person and it is highly unlikely you will change him or her. So, keep your distance and you will be less likely to get sucked in.

* Call a spade a spade.

Sometimes rude people need to be confronted. This is of course a judgment call, and not the tactic to take each time.

Let's say, though, that you are in a restaurant and hear a group of teenagers using extremely foul language. Next to them is a couple with young children. The family is clearly, and rightfully, uncomfortable.

In this case, you may be doing the right thing to calmly confront the rude teenagers. If you are careful how you do it, then you can positively change the situation.

Again, it's all about how you take on rude people. It is crucial for you to remain as calm as possible, as the offenders may try to escalate the situation.

Rude people are not pleasant but they exist in this world. Try to take the high road when possible, and focus on not taking their comments personally.

And when you are around someone who is poorly behaved, use that person as an example-of what you never want to be. You can learn a lot that way.

Learn more about this author, Ann E. Smith.
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