by RubyUnicorn

Created on: January 18, 2009   Last Updated: May 28, 2012

Divorce is a very heart wrenching thing. Now that you have explored all other avenues regarding your marriage. Choosing the right attorney is extremely important. Take your time and remember what a life altering event this will be.

Step 1: Once you have explored all other options and you have ultimately arrived at the decision to divorce. Your next step is to hire a professional legal service to walk you through everything that will occur. Interview your attorney extensively before hiring. The right attorney is so very important during the process of divorce. You must make sure that the lawyer that you hire has your best interest at heart, and that there are no connections what so ever to your spouse. If you interview or consult with many different attorneys in your area before your spouse does, it severely limits your spouse's choice for legal consult due to conflict of interest. Before you decide on your attorney, please keep this rule in mind. You do get what you pay for. If you hire an inexpensive attorney, chances are this person is new to this arena and may not have the experience that you need to fair well in your divorce. That is an important rule of thumb.

Step 2: Once you have decided on your attorney, talk to them about the cost. Most attorneys will ask for a retainer to get the process started. They will also give you a good idea of the total cost and time that it will take to finish the divorce from beginning to end. There are a lot of attorneys that will take payments throughout the course of the divorce. Remember there are a lot of papers to be filed, and court dates. These things have fees in which your attorney must pay to proceed. That is why they ask you for a retainer or money up front to get started. If your spouse makes significantly more than you do, often your attorney will attempt to get the courts to have them pay your entire legal bill.

Step 3: Once you have started, read everything your attorney gives you as far as paper work. Read and read and read. Check dates, amounts, material possessions, everything. One small mistake can cost you a lot in the long run. One client lost $12,000 worth of alimony because her and her attorney never caught the mistake on a date. It is easy to happen because emotions are high, your mind is spinning, and you feel utterly confused. So please read and check everything in your documents before signing.

Step 4: Trust your legal advice; you took painstaking steps to make sure that you hired the most competent person. Allow them to do their job. Remember that everyone's individual divorce is different and unique to that person. Every single divorce is different. Always keep that in mind and try not to do things that could hinder, interrupt, or change the course of your divorce. Always consult your attorney. One small mistake could change the course of your divorce and have dire consequences. Ask questions, stay in constant contact. I can not reiterate enough to double check everything with your attorney.

To close, you have my deepest sympathies. There are so many changes that will occur. You will go through changes with friends, co workers, and even family. This is especially the case when it comes to couples who have been married for a long time. You have come full circle and now is the time to start rebuilding your life. You may even want to consider counseling for yourself to help you get through this. There is a lot of emotional pain involved with divorce, especially if you are on the receiving end and your spouse has left you. Ultimately, you will feel the need for closure. Take the time to take care of yourself. Take the time to grieve your loss. Take the time to heal. Then start your life anew.

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