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Humor: High school reunions

Who came up with the brainchild of a high school reunion anyway? What is it that makes people beleive that bonds are so tight that they need to remain solidly in place twenty years later? Most marriages don't even last that long these days. Should we really be reliving putting Alpo in the Spanish class tacos, gluing a kids shoes to the bottom of his locker, gluing the Algebra teacher's books to his desk or selling elevator passes to Freshman in a one story school?

Maybe we should since those things were very real. Most of the stories relayed in that impending reunion will be packed with alcohol powered one uppance and finger crossed character keeping in the event that the people listening remember the original character. Inevitably, the talk will turn to the silly superlatives doled out by the upper echelon of cliquedom: most likely to succeed, most talkative, most gullible, most shy. Really? They were really qualified to decide people's inner most superlatives and tag them forcing the character covers twenty years later?

The good news is that the superlatives were somewhat open ended. Most likely to succeed at what? More than likely, those cliquey seniors in charge of tagging meant being married with 2.5 children living in the cutest little house with white picket fence working a job making serious money. Our most likely to succeed did not exactly have any of these components going for him, but, in his mind, he was successful. He had made a lot of money in an entrepreneurial sense. One could say he had a self appointed degree in mass marketing. He wasn't married, but he was pretty sure he had at least 2 children. Everyone hopes there is not .5 of a child out there anywhere. He didn't have the white picket fence, but he had spent some time behind a fence with razor ribbon on top. However, it wasn't likely that he would have to defend his character tag at the twenty year because he was currently doing twenty upstate. It's all in the interpretation, I guess.

What would happen if he showed up? The clique committee would have to wisk him into a back room and prep him for his grand entrance. A suit would be brought in. He would be rushed to make-up and his life story would be handed to him in a script suitable for movie making. He would be assigned a trustworthy cue person. After all, most of his own brain cells died an untimely death long ago. He would be instructed to speak as little as possible, to flash his winning smile and nod a lot. My God! We seem to be grooming the leaders of tomorrow after all! ;)

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Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: High school reunions

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    by Jack Mageean


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  • 5 of 22

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Humor: High school reunions

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