by Carol Gioia

Created on: January 18, 2009   Last Updated: March 06, 2010

No matter how well you prepare, when your firstborn strikes out to make his/her mark in the world, you might be blindsided and overwhelmed with mixed emotions. On one hand you are proud and happy for your child's progress toward independence, but on the other hand you could feel sad, depressed and anxious over being separated from your precious offspring.

How you react at this pivotal time in your child's life can impact the quality of your relationship with that young adult far into the future.

Here are some tips for coping when the first fledgling leaves the nest:

* Prepare for the inevitable

As your child approaches young adulthood, you are aware that departure from home is inevitable, whether that exodus is prompted by college, marriage, or getting a job and apartment, and living independently for the first time. Plan quality time together as a family to insure pleasant memories of "home" will endure. Have in-depth conversations about what the future might hold and take the opportunity to impart any words of advice you may want to offer to ease the transition for your fledgling.

Even if your child is only moving down the block, or coming home on weekends, the realization that your "baby" is not safely tucked in under your roof every night will emotionally tug at your heart. This "last chance" bonding experience will ensure there will be no regrets about what more you could have said or done.

* Establish an effective means of communication

Find that sensible place between hovering and letting go by establishing a regular communication schedule. This is not something mandatory to impose on your child, but a method initiated by you to ease you through the period of adjustment. Determine to call once a week, email every other day, have a special family dinner featuring his favorites once a month. Be flexible to change, in the event your child has "other plans." You will soon find that as time goes on, your schedule will loosen as your level of reassurance rises.

Just having a plan for keeping in contact will carry you through the rough patches of loneliness. There will be feelings of anticipation to replace the emptiness. Instead of bemoaning your child's absence, you will be looking forward to the next point of contact.

* Refocus your energy

-  Turn your attention to other family members, bearing in mind that they too will one day be striking out on their own. A positive attitude displayed by you

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