by Vicki Phipps

Created on: January 18, 2009

When I was a child, I asked, "Why can't my skin be brown like Pat's?" All my mom told me was that Pat's skin and mine were exactly the way God intended our skin to be, and that fact seemed to be a good enough answer for me. As a matter of fact, that seemed to be the only discussion mom and I had when it came to the difference in Pat and me in the 60's. You see, my parents raised me to embrace diversity, so there seemed to be no need to discuss such stuff. Discussions can be great, unless we use words that hurt and disgrace a race. There are issues to resolve before we can discuss racial differences with our children, so here's a list of tips on how to resolve those issues, once and for all.

DISCUSSING RACIAL DIFFERENCES WITH CHILDREN: ISSUES TO RESOLVE

1. Don't use racial slurs and words that hurt or disgrace any race.

Old habits die hard and the bad ones are the hardest to break. That's why some people still use racial slurs and words that hurt today. Keep in mind that just because certain words were commonly heard in the old days, that fact doesn't mean they hurt any less today. The fact remains they hurt you worse than the one you hate. They leave you disgraced. It's time to change and get past the facts of the past. Racial slurs never made any sense in the first place. Words that hurt are an indication of ignorance and hate. They come from the source of fear, of course, so if we want to fearlessly live in peace, we need to release the source of the force that creates hate.

That's why racial slurs should never be heard in any home or by any child, but if you still use words that hurt, strive to break that bad habit today. Otherwise, your child will be ignorant to the truth and socially disgraced. They will say whatever they hear you say, so please, don't abuse your child that way. Keep in mind that in fact The Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964, so it's not okay to use racial slurs anymore.

2. Be aware of the way you behave and what your actions say.

Remember the fact that while words can hurt, actions teach. What you teach your children will depend on the way you behave. When you see someone of a different race, do you race the other way? Do you refuse to befriend anyone who has a different color of skin? Do you use stereotypes as an excuse to hate those who discriminate against you? If you behave that way, you won't need to discuss such stuff with your kids, because you see, you've already taught them to be afraid of diversity. As Martin Luther King advised

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