by Emma K. Jones

Created on: January 18, 2009

My Angel

I was anxious all day. I had made the decision to be baptized the next morning at church. Although I was certain of my decision, I was anxious none the same.

I had decided to be baptized in a pool of water after years of wondering about it. Although I had grown up in an intense religion, I had never heard the rational of a full water baptism or a how it was different from our beliefs. We believed in asking God to forgive our sins and called ourselves "saved". God assured us a place in Heaven if we were repentant. My teachings in my new church taught something different and in order to be truly saved, one must be baptized (fully immersed) in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

I could have made the choice to be baptized very privately on a weeknight with just the pastor. However, I had prayed about my decision and felt led to share my life-changing event with my church family. I wondered how many adults in our congregation had wanted to do the same and put off the act because of embarrassment? It was cute to see young children being baptized but a full grown adult was something else. In fact, I had never witnessed an adult go through the ritual. I was not ashamed of my love for God and I felt that I was led to publicly announce this commitment no matter how nervous I was.

Now here it was, the eve of the baptism and I could not sleep. Being a new Christian, I did not know how to find peace in my frantic thoughts. Again, I wasn't nervous about my decision but rather about the process. Why did I say I would do it in front of everyone in the church? God would certainly understand. What would my body look like soaking wet in a white robe? What would I wear so that I could easily change into the robe? What would my hair look like after the fact? How would I dry it and style it in time to return to the remainder of the service? What if I choked on the verses I was to repeat with the minister? Oh so many what ifs and I truly did not know how to calm myself.

It was when I went to bed and these thoughts repeatedly came in my head. Sleep was impossible and that was when my angel came to me. I was lying on my left side, and my mind was swirling with anxiousness. I was praying to God to help me get to sleep when I felt a gentle yet firm hand on my right shoulder. It was so real that I turned swiftly to see who had touched me. I lived with my toddler son at the time and thought he had come into my bedroom needing me. When I turned there was no one. But I knew instantly that an angel had touched me.

Instantly, I felt a surreal calm and my heart slowed. I was not afraid but rather I knew that everything was going to be ok. I had no worries. None! I lay there with tears in my eyes because I knew in my very soul that God was sending him to comfort me and to ease nervousness from me.

I had been given a precious gift. My angel was with me. I drifted off to sleep in minutes knowing that he was there and that I was given blessed reassurance. It was the most life-changing, transforming and enlightened moment of my life and I thank God everyday for my new walk with him.

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