by L. Merlino

Created on: January 18, 2009

Ah, the power of "Smile and say cheese!"

It results in the perfect cheesy smile - the one that all contemporary family portraits seem to be graced with. Not so, however, back in the old days when your grandma was a kid. Those days, it was chic to face the camera with a stern mug - but of course, "Look at the birdie!" must have had something to do with it.

You see, there was no real birdie to look at, and the disappointed result would be a tight-lipped expression. Before the dawn of photography, typical family portraits not only looked stern - they looked downright haughty. It was the "it's all about me" era of portraiture with everyone striking a noble pose of great, illustrious stature while sporting a wooden facial expression: "Look at the peacock!"

No smiles there - well the Mona Lisa (named for Lisa del Giocondo, wife of a wealthy Florentine silk merchant) was an exception. Leonardo must have declared, "Say fromage!," but being Italian, it was more likely "formaggio!"

I guess that would be enough to tickle anyone into a proper smile. Some family portrait that was - the painting had been commissioned for the Giocondo family's new home to celebrate the birth of their second son - but though da Vinci began the painting in 1503, he supposedly didn't finish it till 1519, shortly before his death. Now that's cheesy!

Think how easy we have it today; we snap family portraits with our cell phones. There are no paint pigments to mix, no darkrooms for developing photos - it's all basically point and click and email the results to family and friends in the blink of an eye.

Ah, cheesy photos - my album is full of Colgate grins, everyone showing off their perfectly aligned teeth, thanks to the wonders of modern dentistry. I imagine that our forbears were afraid to flash too broad a smile as many of them had Austin Powers teeth.

Of course a diet rich in calcium - yeah cheese - helps quite a bit too.

But maybe the smiles have gotten a tad bit too cheesy. Not every family member has to go down in record as a potential stand-in for a Doublemint Twin - what gives? How's about a slightly more sultry smile - maybe even a pout or two? Maybe even an enigmatic smile ala Mona Lisa ...

Let's get real. A portrait sitting should be a come-as-you-are occasion. When the photographer says, "Say cheese!" I purposely do anything but.

And about that proverbial "birdie" - maybe it's not such a bad idea to look at it. Even if it's not really there, it is sure to engender a better impression than "all teeth, no originality." The cheese isn't really there either, but your imagination always is. Let the camera capture it!

Incidentally, I've seen some real good "got milk?" ads - the ones without a toothy maw - that could serve as templates for an ideal snapshot worthy of any family album. The white mustache really says something transcendental.

Cameras, lights, cut the cheese!

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