by Joshua Mackle

Created on: January 18, 2009

Oh no, here we go again. I'm walking merrily in the shopping centre, subconsciously bobbing along to the beat of Girls Aloud on my iPod. I know exactly what I'm going to do: a quick trip to Boots to get some mouthwash and a new toothbrush, then to Primark to pick up a new waistcoast - anyone who goes to Topman and spends 30 pounds a time on one, I laugh in your face. 6 pounds from Primark, bargain! - and then it's back to the safety of my home where I won't be tempted by all those unutterably beautiful clothes.

Hah. WRONG.

'River Island'. 'Next'. 'Topman'. I swear, the people who designed this shopping centre must have something against me. All three of my weaknesses within roughly a 50 metre radius of each other. I tell myself time and time again that I'm not going to walk into this section of the shopping centre, but my feet can be so trecherous when they want to be and I find myself going towards it every bloody time. I can hardly call it a guilty pleasure either, because more often than not I always have a grin on my face that a Chesire cat would kill for whenever I'm in these shops. But still, surely a quick look in River Island won't hurt.

MY GOD. I've just caught sight of the most gorgeous T-shirt you have ever laid your eyes on. Plain black, slim fitting, covered in sleek white patterns and sparkling gold. My mind takes over then: I imagine myself clubbing in it, the looks and compliments from my friends when I show them my amazing new T-shirt, the admiring glances from strangers as they wonder who the suave boy is in the dazzling T-shirt. My mind is screaming "No, Josh, you already have too many T-shirts. Put it down and save your money, just this once." It really needs to learn to tell me this BEFORE I've purchased the item, really, but better late than never, eh?

I walk out of the shop a very happy bunny. A suitable term, seeing as I'm practically bouncing with joy. Next, a trip into Next. Oh yes, I am the master of wit. I casually look around, nothing particularly interesting catches my eye. Just as I turn to leave, a glorious jacket catches my eye. Wow, how sleek and sophisticated! I caress the luxurious charcoal grey material and look at the jacket I'm currently wearing. Surely past it's use-by date? I could do with a new jacket. Once again I hear my mind trying to protest, but my natural urge for buying new clothes cancel the voices out. The best way to be, I'm sure all the women out there reading this will agree.

I'm about to carry on with my business

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