by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: January 17, 2009   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

"You have a beautiful face." Cindy had heard these comments all her life from well meaning folks. The same folks who never bothered looking below her pretty neck to her hulking size 16 body. Each time someone complimented her flawless skin, her enormous and seductive eyes, she would feel her sense of defeatism further entrenching itself beneath her many layers of fat.

She had no way to vent, so early on she started binged eating, which soon became not much of a secret as she packed on the pounds. At twenty four, she was quite sure she was the most miserable person in the whole wide world. Her brother would be marrying in ten months, what was she to do? She knew her future sister-in-law was having a difficult time, deciding how to tactfully handle the problem of her weight.

Her mother, a svelte and graceful woman, had done everything she could to help her lose weight, but most of her efforts had the opposite effect. Cindy had a sort of love/hate relationship with her mother that puzzled even her at times. Often she believed she ate to punish her in some way, which she also did not understand as her mother was one of the kindest individuals she knew.

Rebecca ensured that only healthy foods were in the house at all times and could not understand why Cindy continued gaining weight. It became a quest for her to cook the foods that were not only the lowest in fats and carbohydrates, but were also the tastiest. It was not until she walked into the kitchen late one night to find Cindy greedily gulping down a liter of Pepsi, a hero sandwich and four candy bars that she finally understood. She stood at the door for several minutes looking from Cindy to the empty candy wrappers, the half-eaten sandwich, and the nearly empty bottle of soda before she exited the room.

She felt as though she had been hit in the stomach with a sledge hammer. Cindy sat smugly; thinking "now she knows," but she got no satisfaction this time and sat crying for the remainder of the night. Neither she nor her mother ever spoke about the incident and the ease in which they had always discussed her so-called "weight problem" was gone forever.

Cindy was the middle child who was sandwiched between a brother, who at twenty-nine was a State Senator, and a sister who at twenty was a popular, extremely fit, and trimmed junior at Sacramento State University. Cindy had recently finished law school and had already passed the State bar, but was not looking forward to standing before a jury pleading a case. Who

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