In an age when we have a firm legal system in place to ensure the protection of children and divorced spouses and the continuance of financial support, there is no reason on earth that anyone, male or female, should feel trapped in a dysfunctional marriage. We all deserve to be happy and contented in our lives. When a marriage becomes too difficult to tolerate, separation and divorce can allow us to start anew and seek happiness again.
Some of the top reasons that women in particular may feel trapped in a troubled marriage are religious obligations, financial (lifestyle) concerns, children and fear of being alone.
Perhaps we should address these top concerns individually.
Religious obligations vary based upon faith and denomination, however, discussing your concerns with your religious leader can help you to determine if leaving the marriage is right for you. Are the difficulties in your marriage irreconcilable? If so, any professional clergy will be able to advise you as to how the termination of the marriage will affect your standing in your religion. If you religion is extremely orthodox and does not allow divorced members to continue to worship, you may have to choose a new spiritual outlet that is more forgiving of human error. A religion has no authority to dictate that you must remain married if you are so extremely unhappy that you feel trapped.
Many women in the past felt trapped in dysfunctional marriages due to financial dependency. That is not the case today, at least not in the United States. Our family courts and domestic relation sections ensure that spousal support and child support requirements are enforced. Most modern women are perfectly capable of supporting themselves and their children if necessary and should be able to maintain the same lifestyle for themselves and the children when combining their earnings with support received from the estranged spouse. The bottom line is, is maintaining a material lifestyle worth enduring the marriage continuing? The assumption here is that the marriage is causing extreme discomfort and unhappiness. There is no reason to feel trapped, you can leave if you are unhappy and your spouse will be obligated to contribute to your support and the support of any children you may have.
Staying together for the sake of the children is an argument for maintaining a difficult marriage since life began. At the core of this argument are two key factors, one is maintaining a standard of living that the children are accustomed to, this is addressed above concerning financial dependency. The second key factor is maintaining relationships with both parents, having a father and a mother actively involved in the children's upbringing. Again, we must cite the court systems of today which, even in the most difficult of divorce proceedings, will regulate visitation schedules and custody issues. Unless a parent is unfit, there is no reason why they cannot continue to have a healthy and productive relationship with their children. Children being raised in an unhappy and stressful household will fare much better if they are in a happy home, regardless of whether there are two parent figures or one on premises. Psychologically it is more important for children to see a positive resolution to conflict rather than continued endurance of an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. Teaching your children how to be happy is much more productive than teaching your children how to submit to stress and practice conformity to societal standards.
A fear of being alone once one has exited their marriage can keep some women in a difficult marriage much longer than is healthy or necessary. Starting over after divorce is a major life stressor and can keep a woman frozen in time, unable to act, out of shear fear of the unknown. Many social outlets today can help a newly divorcing woman to transition into being single again. Singles clubs run by churches and social organizations, volunteer work, returning to the work force, all of these events will widen the woman's social circle and allow opportunity to build a new support network. The recently divorced woman may be quite surprised to find that isolating within a bad marriage had her feeling much more alone than she is post divorce when she has the freedom to socialize and interact at will.
Should women feel trapped into staying in marriages that do not work? Absolutely not. The only one who can trap a woman into remaining in a bad marriage is the woman herself. Freedom is just one decision away.