by Pamela Kay

Created on: January 17, 2009

Single parenting often gives rise to frustration and anger. Too many bills, too little money, not enough hours in a day and no light at the end of the tunnel cause feelings of frustration and inadequacy, which often boil over into an angry outburst. It's only human nature. Read on to learn how to avoid taking your anger out on your kids and how to channel it into productivity.

Admit You Aren't Perfect

Don't be so hard on yourself, admit that you are human and have emotions, one of which is anger. Deal with each frustration when it arises and while you are still in control. Holding back only allows the problems to accumulate until you have so many you lose the ability to reason and lash out in frustration at whoever is nearest to you and all too often it is your child.

Focus On The Day At Hand

Let go of what use to be and focus on today. Don't waste your valuable time wondering what went wrong and why you are left to raise the kids alone. You may never be able to find those answers but you can find answers to what needs to be done now to make your kid's lives the best they can be.

Ask For Help

Statistics show that child abuse is often a result of a parent feeling overwhelmed by his or her responsibilities. Don't let it reach this stage; ask for help. Talk to your family, Pastor, doctor or close friend about any feelings that border on out of control. There is no shame in seeking help when you are overwhelmed and sinking, but there is shame in yelling at your kids, which is a form of child abuse.

Join A Single Parent Support Group

If there is no support group for single parents in your area, start one. If your time is too limited, talk to your Pastor about the church starting one or approach a local club about sponsoring one. Try to remember you are not alone in the challenges you face as a single parent. Perhaps, another single parent has found a solution for your particular problem. At the least, just talking with others will relieve some of your tension.

Channel The Anger Into Something Productive

Even parents need a timeout now and then. Go for a run, walk or swim. Ride a bike, vacuum the floors, dig in the garden, mow the grass or play some basketball with your kids. Learn the warning signs that tell you when you are about to lose control and have an activity ready and waiting to use up the adrenalin that frustration produces.

Make Time for You

While it is true that the plate of a single parent is often full to overflowing, you must make time for you just as surely as you make time for your kids. A two-hour break from the pressures of being a single parent can make a huge difference in how you see your life.

You can find the time if you try. Hire a babysitter or let older siblings watch the younger ones while you go for a walk, take in a movie, have coffee with a friend or have a pedicure. Get up an hour earlier and work on that novel or take a long hot bath before bedtime.

Don't try to be a super parent and refuse to ask for help. Remember the saying, 'It takes a village to raise a child'? Well, it's true and there are villagers out there willing to help you if you seek them out. Seriously consider each of the above tips for how to avoid taking your anger out on your kids and watch your single parenting skills improve.

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