by B. Thomas Cooper

Created on: January 17, 2009

I have never pondered much upon the subject of my own demise. I have long been of the assumption that just such a predicament is best left for others to tackle. Preferably, the living. But what if perhaps I were to die tomorrow?

Honestly, I don't plan on preparing for my death. Not now, at least. I'm busy preparing to live, which indeed, is a far more daunting task, if you dont mind me saying so. Death will not be invited into my life. It will arrive without invitation and I shall undoubtedly go kicking and screaming all the way into the afterlife. Furthermore, I have no intent to validate parking for any vehicle summoned to remove my stifled corpse. Let em park out along the curb with the rest of the stiffs.

For reasons difficult to explain, we as sentient beasts worry ourselves into a frenzy anticipating the afterlife. All for naught, I am told. In third grade, we wonder with awe at the prospects fourth grade would surely yield. Junior High, High School, College, retirement, welfare. It's a vicious cycle, and one I would just as soon ignore. Will the last out the door, please turn off the lights as you leave.

Now, I suppose it would really be something if say, a telegram were to arrive at my front door from the Grim Reaper himself, with my immediate itinerary in bold print, but so far, such has not been the case. Every day is a holiday, and frankly, I am not waiting around for the sky to fall.

Should someone notice me missing, we can all safely assume they are either a bail bondsman or a bill collector, as this is not a census year. If you should happen to notice that the daily paper has begun to pile up on my doorstep, by all means, help yourself. To the newspapers, I mean. If my miniature roses look a little dry, please water them for me.

These days, the world can be a strange and scary place. In fact, on most days the world can be a strange and scary place. Would should today be any different? You know the poem, or perhaps you don't:

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
Should I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."

For me, I suppose those twenty-nine words about sum it up. Hopefully, the good Lord above, in his infinite wisdom, and from his lofty estate I might add, will take responsibility for my troubled and satirical soul in the here-after. As for the living, those I've left behind to clean up my mission and my mess, God bless everyone of you, and may your lives be long and prosperous.

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