by Steven Dontigny

Created on: January 17, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2011

What is your favorite color of underwear?

Quick to answer that? We just started a conversation. However many people on a first date get lost in the boundaries that civilization have predetermined to be acceptable. We are trained to ask about family, careers and goals which all supposedly help us determine whether or not our date is a suitable future partner.

Some would say that no topic is off limits, and to push the boundaries as much as you can. Talk about things you normally would not and the conversation and the date become more memorable. That's a good thing if it goes well, but on a first date do you really know the person well enough to risk the date on such a gutsy topic.

Remember, this is a first date. This is an introductory to a possible relationship. Opinions and moral ethics should not be exposed to great depth on a first date. Yes this is the first step towards testing compatibility but it is more about having fun and setting up a chance for a second date.

So with all this in mind lets talk conversation starters. In the past some of the best conversations and most fun I have had on a date occurred while playing a fun little game. The game is called "What are they saying?". It is easy and quite fun. Pick a table near where you are sitting (but not near enough that you can hear them or they can hear you). You each take one patron from that table and you fill in their conversation. Almost like a ventriloquist, when your person talks, you fill in the words. Try it.

Another easy little game is to describe a person. Pick a patron. Start by describing what they are wearing and why. Then move into details. Where they live, what they do, their favorite things, their likes and dislikes.

Both of these games help you interact with each other without having to give details about yourself. Although I have found most people, myself included, actually play the role by giving details from their own lives but would be to nervous and uptight to do so in the first place.

If you want to stick with just straight up conversation a few good questions to ask, that always seem to lead to a healthy conversation are

1. If you could be anything or anyone for a day, what would you say?

2. If you were forced to make a movie, what would it be about and who would you cast?

3. If you can have dinner with any four people, past or present, who would they be and why?

Not only do these questions generally lead to great conversations, they also are rather revealing. You will learn about dreams and ambitions. You will also learn about what they like and dislike. In number three answers could be anything from presidents, musicians, leaders, authors or even lost family members. Once again opening a little window into the world of your date!

Conversation starters are easy, its carrying the conversation that matters. So Listen and do not be afraid to ask questions. Be confident and understanding. Just be you and great conversation will make for a great date!

We are what we Believe!

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