by Vicki Phipps

Created on: January 17, 2009

Just thinking of my first born son leaving my nest made me a mess of stress. I had no clue what he'd do without me by his side at all times. Would he eat? Would he sleep? Would he remember to take his vitamin C at least once a week? The to do list was endless, because you see, I'd need to let go of control.

EMPTY NEST: HOW TO COPE

1. Relax and remember the facts.

Letting go of a role I'd played twenty-four hours a day, for eighteen years of my life, left me shocked and surprised by how easy it seemed for my son to leave me. Didn't he need me? Then again, when I remembered the fact that he'd turned out to be more mature than I used to be at eighteen, this fact helped me relax. That's why every time the old movie, "Animal House," came to my mind, I'd remind myself that it was just a movie. The fact remained that my son was not the party animal type, and besides, since he received a golf scholarship, he'd play golf all day and be too exhausted to party at night.

Beyond those facts, I remembered the fact that I'd spent all those years of his and my life teaching him the facts of life and why it's wise to follow rules, study in school and keep his room neat and clean. I taught him to listen to his conscience, and if that voice in his mind sounded like mine, he should do what it told him to do.

2. College is just an empty nest test.

When my son left the nest, I cried all day for a week and just when I found a bit of peace, he came home and asked me to do his laundry. Although it was great to see, very clearly, that he still needed me, after months of this, I decided it was high time that he learned how to do his own laundry. Otherwise, he'd need me for the rest of my life, and besides, when your child leaves, it means that you should be free to do as you please, at least once a week.

Still, my first born son taught me that when he left my nest, it was just a test to evaluate just how great a parenting role I played. It gave us the opportunity to fill in the gaps that he still lacked, so although I hope you pass the test when your child leaves your nest, you'll probably be like me and see that in fact, you missed a few things when it comes to preparing your child to be completely parent free. That's okay, and by the way, don't panic when you see just how much they still don't know at eighteen. Patience is the key to developing a mature human being.

3. Remember this: What you resist will persist.

The more control you hold, the more your child will resist your role when they

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