by M.L. Bushman

Created on: January 16, 2009

Of Credit Cards and Big Bad Wolves

Act One: Enter the Wolf

Once upon a time, a dizzy blonde forgot her payment to the big bad wolf known as Bank of America (BOA). In her defense, it was the silly season between Thanksgiving and Christmas and she simply forgot to make the payment. On December 7th, 2007 a day that will certainly live in infamy, she realized she'd forgotten the payment, which was now 7 days late. So, being an individual more than willing to take responsibility for her mistake, she paid over double the minimum payment plus the late fees, and since she'd never been late on a payment before, thought that was the end of it.

But the big bad BOA wolf was having its own problems with losses in the sub-prime mortgage market, like other wolves such as Washington Mutual, and since our blonde had made this "error," the BOA wolf decided that she, and thousands of others, should help the big bad wolf cover its losses. The blonde received notice with her next statement that the interest on her balance was being raised-to 31.74 percent-but if she paid on time like a good little blonde for six months, the big bad BOA wolf would "review" her account.

When she called the big bad BOA wolf's customer service line, the blonde discovered that "review" didn't mean the interest rate was going down after six months. Oh, no. It just meant "review" as in "we'll continue to shaft you as long as we want and you can't do a damn thing about it." Well, the blonde decided to fight back in a totally remarkable way. She refused to pay. She called customer service a second time to let them know that she wasn't going to pay what amounted to usurous rates and that she didn't care about her so-called credit rating, a cattle prod if ever there was one, created by lenders to herd frightened sheep into the slaughter pens of big bad wolves all over the country and the world.

The blonde did her research and spoke to a friend who's worked in the banking industry for over twenty years to find out what, if anything, the big bad BOA wolf could do to her for refusing to pay. The BOA wolf could garnish the blonde's wages, but the banking industry expert said she'd never heard of any wolf doing that because it's just too darn expensive for the wolves, having to get a lawyer in the blonde's home state, etc. The big bad wolf also could, in theory, serve a writ on the blonde's bank and clean out her bank account, but the banking industry expert hadn't ever heard of that being done either, again, because

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