by Brigid Bishop

Created on: January 16, 2009   Last Updated: January 17, 2009

Parenting an only child is an experience that happens to all parents, with the only exceptions being those who give birth to multiples the first time around. Every parent in the world starts off as parenting an only child, so the parents among us may have made a lot of these mistakes when we were new parents to our beloved first borns.

The only child is the only true mark that a set of single child parents has to leave upon the world and having this rooted deep in their psyche is the foundation for nurturing a narcissistic personality type if left unchecked.

Only children tend to be the center of attention for their formative psychological years of birth through age four. This constant attentiveness can become so deeply rooted in the only child's mind that they are unable to socialize well in play groups, on play dates and in day care and early education settings. It is easy to spot the only child in the room, this is the child that has every expectation to gain the immediate attention of any and every adult in the area. An attitude of entitlement to this attention is not unusual.

Having an only child to tend to sets inexperienced parents up to over extending the childs requirements for immediate gratification. As an inexperienced parent, the first whimpers that emit from the child's mouth initiate a hurried and automatic response to satisfy whatever need the child may have. The absence of younger siblings arriving extends this period indefinitely, so while parents of multiple children may have to teach their eldest child patience and delayed gratification skills, the parents of the only child can continue to service the infantile need for immediate gratification and delay emotional and psychological development.

When a two year old child begins to cry because they cannot have a favorite toy, a parent of multiples will tend to distract the child's attention and have them focus elsewhere until the favorite toy becomes available again. When a two year old only child begins to cry in the same situation, frequently the parents will find a way to get that favorite toy away from another child to satisfy their only child's desires, laying the foundation for some very "bratty" behavior and social disfunction in later years.

The parents of lone children may not even realize that they are building a narcissist, day by day and week by week, they believe that they are only being good parents because they do not have any younger children to tend to and have the time to devote

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