by Ms. Glenda Bell

Created on: January 16, 2009

"Mr. Too Nice": What a silly paraphrase, a contradiction in its own right. Basically the word nice, means pleasing or agreeable. No where in the definition does it say pleases everyone, nor, does it say perfect. Regardless of the reason Mr. Nice Guy becomes overly possessive, or domineering.

I have learned from experience, that most that are too nice, are on an ego trip. They seek to make a conquest of the women they are pursueing. It starts out mildly at first, with kind jestures, cute actions, and of course that charming smile. Before long it escalates to excessive frequent phone calls, or just stopping by to say hi. Eventually, panic sets in. He can't understand why the woman of his dreams can't see his sincerity.

I don't believe, they look at them self realistically. They don't have the perspective to step back and see them self from another's view point. They are sincere in their attempts, and actions. Unfortunately, they are not well received. It gets to the point that the more they approach, the less they are accepted. It is a vicious cycle that seems to never end.

If you are unfortunate enough to become a target for Mr. Too Nice, you need to brace yourself. He is not easily swayed or discouraged. The more you pull away, the more he will want a reason. His rejection, becomes a driving force for acceptance. If you will notice, nothing is ever his fault. He fails to recognize, that there are boundaries, personal spaces, that he should never breach.

In reality, they see themselves as perfect. A person, that no one should ever be able to say no to. They have never fully understood, why anyone would want to. Yet, NO, is very frequently used in their own vocabulary. No, I won't stop calling you. No, I won't leave you alone. No...No...No....

The best way to deal with a Mr. Too Nice, is to just be direct, straight forward and get the point across as soon as possible. Be honest, and tell him that his advances are unwelcome, a violation of your personal space. Tell him that being a nice guy, as he puts it, means respecting others. And, that he is not respecting your right to make your own choice.

Tell him to step back and let you have time to absorb the attention, before he pushes you totally away. One of two things will happen. 1. He will back off and truly give you breathing room. This might actually let you see, he is a nice guy. 2. He will hold on even tighter and force you to push him further away, and never give him a chance. Either way, you'll make the best choice for yourself.

A true Mr. Nice Guy, will be just that. "Nice". Always respecting others, even if he doesn't agree with them. But, most important of all he will respect you.

Learn more about this author, Ms. Glenda Bell.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.