by Marlene Bricker

Created on: January 16, 2009

How Do I Love You?

The last time my husband said I love you which was this morning, it really made me take a step back and think. What does it mean to say I love you? The last time I said I love you to him, which was this morning, I thought what does this really mean to me?

"How do I love you? Let me count thy ways." Most of us have read this well known poem by Elizabeth Barret Browning in literature classes. It is a beautiful poem about the most profound love. Have you ever attended a wedding, and feel so touched by the deep love and commitment you see the couple displaying? What a beautiful exhibition of true love! You just know this is one of the couples that will be together until death do they part.

How many times have you been absolutely shocked when a friend relayed the news that the couple you knew was "the happiest" was now separated? Do you remember how shocked you were? And, the most interesting part of this was that this couple had everything! They had great jobs and a beautiful 4500 square foot home. Their children were absolutely lovely and he was as handsome as could be and she was beautiful and thin! What could possibly have gone wrong? What more would you ever want or desire in a marriage?

Now, here is the rub. When one initially "falls in love" and decides to marry the coveted "beloved," there are so many things in play. First there is the dream. Our society is based on falling in love and getting married. The bride will wear a beautiful white dress, receive amazing China, open many presents, and be whisked away on a romantic honeymoon as a life of bliss is beginning.

Then, rather quickly, things change.The prince and princess suddenly realize the perfection each recognized in the other, was suddenly beginning to wane. In fact, the prince and princess were beginning to get on each other's nerves. They begin to disagree and get irritable with each other. They used to agree on so many issues and now it is as though a large precipice has formed and grows wider daily. Life in the castle has changed.

Eventually, the prince and princess file for divorce. As the couple share the demise of their marriage to family and friends, they begin to share how the union failed. Each states how unhappy they were in the marriage. The sentence that almost every person seeking a divorce says is, "I am just not getting my needs met in this relationship." There are other sentences such as, "I am not happy anymore. I want more out of life. I deserve more." And it continues

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