by Rachelle de Bretagne

Created on: January 15, 2009

People see the word "alone" as a negative, though once you learn the art of aloneness, suddenly this puts being alone in a different perspective. This article is written to help people to understand how aloneness transforms your life into new inner peace and understanding in so many ways. It is a valuable lesson, since the word "alone" should never be seen as being one faceted. Only by understanding the positive aspects of aloneness can people fully appreciate who they are and work towards an inner understanding, which enriches their lives and the lives of people around them.

*Dependence.
*Facing your fears.
*Learning who you are.
*Getting comfortable in your own company.
*Being self reliant.
*Being able to offer a whole you to the people who matter to you.

Dependence.

Often we use parts of our surroundings to balance self. A mother uses her children for her own identity as a person, or a child uses the excuse that they are a child to excuse themselves in their behavior or lack of understanding. To a certain degree dependence is unhealthy because what it does is create an excuse for being who we are or making our lives acceptable in our own eyes by measuring our worth to others.

Dependence goes further than that. When we depend too heavily on outside influence or other people, we lose an element of freedom of self expression, because our behavior is limited to what others believe to be acceptable. There is little room for personal growth, simply because we accept our own limitations. The truth is far from this. Each person on the Earth is an island, and once we accept this aloneness, we become more comfortable with who we are, because it allows us to be rather than act out on the expectations of others.

Facing your fears.

Have you ever needed to hold someone's hand because they are afraid? We all do it, though the biggest fear in life is loneliness, simply because it is a least understood aspect of life. How can a monk live in isolation for periods of years and not feel lonely? The fact is that isolation actually allows us more freedom of thought, and more time to enrich who we are. Facing inner fears and knowing our own limitations, rather than those inflicted upon us by social values and norms helps us to grow. We will still have fears, though if we examine them and know why we have them, this makes them easier to accept and we do not have to justify them, and can cope with our own fears alone.

Learning who you are.

Take away the props in life, and learn to see who you

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