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WHAT MAKES A GREAT MARRIAGE

I have been married three times. I have experience in the matter. Regretfully the first two ended up in divorce court for one reason or another. So, who do I think I am that I can speak to you about what makes a great marriage? The question here is not what makes a couple stay together but what makes a great marriage. I am working on my third and absolute best marriage but the first two were great as well. Because a marriage ends in divorce does not mean the marriage was worthless.

My greatest marriage is my current marriage. What makes it the greatest is that we both feel and think the same way, on so many intimate and emotional subjects. That is one of the things that helps make a great marriage, similarity of thought. But, there are so many other things to consider in a marriage.

First, let me say that I definitely do not believe that a marriage has to be work. We, my wife and I, do not "work on our marriage." If you have to work to make your marriage great than you are fooling yourself; your marriage is not great. A great marriage is automatic, it just happens, you can't build it.

There are some things we can do to help influence the general atmosphere of our marriage though. I have thought about this for quite some time and have come up with a list of ten things I feel are very important if you want a great marriage.

10) PATIENCE: You are two different people. You have had two very different upbringings. You have been exposed to two completely different families. Your outlooks and thoughts on many things will be different. You need to have patience with one another. Listen to everything each other has to say. Weigh it out, compare it to your thoughts. If you can be influenced to think the same way, wonderful. If not, then just be still and have patience. One day you two will nearly be the same person.

9) UNDERSTANDING: Due to your very different backgrounds each of you are apt to do things the other one would never expect. Accept each others whims and follies. Go with them, there is no harm. Even if something goes totally against your way of living, experience it. You have the opportunity to gain so much from each other. Simply exercise a high degree of understanding for each other's little differences in thoughts and attitudes.

8) CHIVALRY: Primarily on the man's part, be a gentleman. Simply do the little things that should not have to be learned by the time you are a married man. Open the door, help her with her coat,

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