by Tanya Dittberner

Created on: January 21, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Weddings. Some of us hate them, some of us love them, but no matter what our feelings on witnessing the spectacle that is the wedding, we've all been to one.

Weddings can vary, depending on location, time of day/year, budget, culture, etc. But in essence, they are all for the most part the same: a gathering of relatives, friends, acquaintances (and sometimes the occasional wedding crasher) in which they witness two people make a life-changing commitment to one another, typically validated through a ceremony, followed by a party.

As weddings are similar throughout the world, so is the etiquette for a wedding guest. Some tips on making this experience a pleasant one:

1. Ladies: Remember that it is all about the bride. Do not upstage her by being more beautiful or charming. And for the love of cake, do not wear white.

2. Dance! The planner(s) probably agonized over the decision to go with the band over the DJ (or vice versa) so shed those inhibitions and get on the dance floor. Even if you're the only one.

3. Find out who the mothers of the bride and groom are and congratulate them. Chances are that they may be too frazzled/busy/drunk to remember talking to you after the fact, but it's a nice gesture, nonetheless.

4. Don't skip the ceremony only to go to the reception. Not only is it rude, but awkward when you give the same excuse as everyone else: "I couldn't make it." Lame.

5. Always be aware of the bride's dress in relation to your feet. Trust me on this one.

6. Don't get drunk. Specifically, don't get drunk and do one of those dedication tapes where you wish the bride and groom well and all that good stuff. You may never see the footage, but do you really want to be immortalized in your friends' wedding tape as the slurring buffoon with questionable etiquette?

Things to bring:

7. A granola bar in case you don't like the food. Just don't let anyone see you eat it!

8. A gift - specifically, bring a gift you know the couple will like. When shopping for a gift a couple of years ago for some friends of mine, I picked up "The Goonies" because a.) I was on a budget and b.) I knew they would like it. A couple of weeks later, my friends told me that it was the only gift they used on the honeymoon. I guess no one gave them massage oils or cash...

9. Someone to keep you company. The ideal companion is someone who can dance, doesn't mind driving you home (in case you didn't heed the advice in #6), and has a good sense of humor (especially good for "people watching").

10. And finally, bring your best version of yourself. This is a day of celebration and if your presence is requested, grant them the honor of enjoying witty and amiable you.

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