by Sam Madsen

Created on: January 15, 2009   Last Updated: January 30, 2009

Forgiveness, and Trust, how important are they? Extremely! For some people forgiveness, seems like such an easy word to say and for others, it's hard for them to say or give.

Like everything in our lives as families with children the foundation takes precedence, we as parents must understand that children of all ages, watch our every move and listen to our every word, for duplication and direction of how to be.

Point being, that what we "say" and "do" around our children, has a direct impact on how they will (look at things), (deal with problems), (talk to other people) and what is most important, how they (view themselves as a person).

The last thing any person needs, is to mess up and have the other people involved, over react and do for more harm emotionally than the act or lack of, that caused the problem to begin with.

If you start by setting an example early in life, that if you do make a mistake, or have an accident, you don't run from it and hide. You address the problem calmly, because you already know that you can trust me to listen first and that I am always here for you.

Then teach them that you deal with the situation the best way you can with the tools, and/or information you have at that time. Should it be something that cannot be fixed, because it is broken, then you do what you can to (repair it), (make up for it or pay for it).

If you can't do any of these, and all you have left to offer is an apology, then that is the best you have to offer.

So hopefully, for the sake of the individual involved, the person on the other side of this situation, can remember a time when they were standing in your shoes and be adult enough to( listen, assess, then react.)

The most important thing this person can probably say at this point is " I forgive you" which will mean so much.

Just the sound of the words, bring a relief inside that melts away the knot in your stomach.

If you need to go deeper as a person, into this issue, then know this, "we are all human" and that by definition alone this means that we "will" make mistakes and do things wrong, from time to time. This is called living life.

But we also need to be sending a message, that we are also strong enough to bend and humble enough to forgive.

Let's not forget that the general and golden rule in life is, to treat people with the same care and understanding, that we would appreciate in return.

If you keep this in mind, then the next time a situation accrues, and puts you in the driver seat to be the one who is doing the forgiving, remember words are cruel and they cannot be taken back once said, and they are never forgotten.

So choose your words wisely and speak softly.

Especially with teenagers, they are the ones that have their foot in their mouth have the time. So the next time they start to run off at the mouth, not that you should tolerate this, no way.

But don't be so harsh with your words, know that they have a bunch of hormones raging and not really sure what's wrong with them, so they are grouchy and can be disrespectful.

Don't allow it, but don't hold a grudge and not forgive their childish stupidity, it's momentary. After all they are only kids, but they are the ones that will remember everything you say today.

Beware of what you say today. You may have to be the one asking for forgiveness tomorrow. If so, hopefully someone will be kind with their words. and offer you their forgiveness for your actions or words.

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