by Kristin Castle

Created on: January 14, 2009

A friend just presented me with an interesting question. If we knew what the "greater plan" was, or why we are meant to endure such things, would that make it any easier? I quickly decided that I prefer not to know the greater plan. I have always been a bit argumentative and stubborn and I am quite certain that if I were to stand face to face with God and hear his reasons for making my mother suffer with a brain tumor and all of its debilitating side effects I would surely find a million reasons to combat his all-knowing wisdom. And even when (not if) his reasons are justified, I will still insist that this path is too much and entirely unnecessary.

"Ok. You have chosen her because her faith in you has been so steadfast and loyal and you know that she is stronger than even she ever knew. Who are we to doubt you while we watch in awe as her faith holds up and she still insists on going to church every week even though it involves the challenges of the wheelchair and the humbling inability to rise with the rest of the congregation to sing your praises and the need to be lifted in and out of the pews, and the special doting attention from her loving and dedicated church family which she would once have found terribly uncomfortable (God bless them all).

You chose her to teach us that the worst things can happen to the very best people and we should never take those people for granted. Those of us who love her most have been most guilty of this, but we realized her unequivocal worth years ago. We are thankful rather than burdened by Sunday dinners at mom's house. We are amused rather than annoyed by her incessant curiosity. We yearn for the nagging motherly advice that we once resented because it was forced upon us whether we wanted it or not. And my father, her ex-husband, has never wasted an opportunity to tell us what a wonderful woman our mother is. We get it. She is a blessing.

And now she is a Grandmother, and her never ending, soul searching journey to find herself stopped dead in its tracks when she met her first grandchild. She was happy to just be Grandma and never seemed to struggle with that role as she did with all the others. Her need to please and appear perfect found the ideal outlet in her grandchildren. In my five year old daughter's eyes, Grandma could do no wrong. She is all at once the lucky one for getting to know her grandma so well, and the poor little girl whose world would shatter without weekly sleepovers and campouts by candlelight in

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>