by Toni Nakama

Created on: January 14, 2009

I have never dreamed of living in a country other than my homeland Philippines. I am a patriotic person I should say, and I thought I will live my whole life in the country where I was born and raised.

It was in late 2003 when I decided to give myself a break from work. I got very sickly that I had to absent myself from work two to three times in a month. I considered a friend's invitation to have a vacation in Sydney, Australia. I processed my tourist visa before Christmas of that year, got my visa after few weeks, bought my plane ticket and flew on New Year's Eve. I knew it seemed so unreasonable to leave Manila and my family in a special day, but I thought it would be a good start of the year for me. My family understood and they were happy for me.

In just less than eight hours I felt like I was in the other side of the world. A very beautiful sunny day in Sydney welcomed me. A special friend who sent me the invitation required for my visa came to the airport and picked me up. I already missed my family and yet I can't wait to explore this country, live the next few days, weeks and months differently from the way I lived my life back home, and learn new things every single day.

After three months of staying in Sydney, I had to say goodbye not only to Sydney but to the special friend who has become a special part of my heart and my life in just a short span of time. I knew that I will be back very soon and finally convinced myself that I would love to live here and have my own family. It is a very beautiful country. Besides, I knew at that time I left Sydney that I have also left my heart with this special person on a promise that I will be back soon.

I found myself again back to the same airport after three months...but this time is a bit different...I was welcomed with a big kiss and a big hug from that special person I left three months ago. I did not also arrived all by myself, but with another life breathing inside me. I have barely three months again to spend in Sydney, not for a vacation, but for bigger plans for me, my man...and our baby.

In 2005, I came back to Sydney with my 1 year old daughter. That was the start of our life together as one whole family. Everything was perfect.

Depression sinked into my system in the same year I settled in this country. I was diagnosed medically though with depression in 2006 when I was pregnant with my son. I realized that no matter how independent minded I can get, there will always be that little girl inside me wanting

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