by Jennifer Wagner

Created on: January 13, 2009   Last Updated: January 14, 2009

Raising boys will turn just about any parent into a basket case. That's because boys don't sit quietly on the floor and play with Barbie dolls or draw in color books. Nooooo Boys are only happy when they're screaming down the road on their bicycle, jumping off ridiculously high ramps on skateboards, or wrestling on the brand new sofa. Boys are busy, boys are loud, and boys are great.

Raising boys is NOT for the faint of heart. You never know what to expect when you get up in the morning. You may wake to discover the dogs have been shaved, your carpet has been colored, and your Cosmopolitan magazines are all missing. And NO ONE knows what happened. Hmmmm.....

It's a good idea to carry a First Aid kit with you everywhere you go. Boys are proud of their bruised and bloodied knees, and they acquire new ones almost on a daily basis. If you have two boys, like me, you will be witness to wrestling and boxing matches several times a day. Keep an ice pack, or two, in the freezer at ALL TIMES.

Trying to keep little, or big, boys in nice clothes is virtually impossible. You can expect to spend a pretty penny on clothing because they are somehow always being ripped and torn. New pants shake in fear when they see my boys; knees have a very short shelf life, you see. Shirts are mud stained from playing, or food stained from being used as napkins. Don't bother trying to give them paper napkins either. Boys prefer to use their sleeves. Trust me.

Prepare to go hungry when raising boys. Boys eat. A lot! Think you can sneak a chocolate bar in the house just for you? WRONG! Boys can smell food a mile away. And if you do manage to somehow sneak a treat in for yourself, it will be discovered and consumed by the end of the day. How is it that the same boys that can't seem to see their dirty sock on the floor, can see a candy bar stuffed in the back of a drawer? Just one of life's mysteries.

Boys have wieners. And they like them. Get used to it.

Boys travel in packs. In the summer, there is a constant stream of friends in and out of the house. And all the boys will be thirsty and ask for drinks. But you can't afford to hydrate all of them, so do what I do. Send them out to the hose. A little hose water never hurt anyone!

The absolute best part of raising boys, is the love they give. When my sons come inside, muddy and wet with sweat, and hand me a bouquet of yellow weeds they think are flowers....my heart melts. And I am so very thankful for them.

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