by Patricia Rockwell

Created on: January 13, 2009

I have had two children graduate from college (one recently) and I also spent over forty years teaching in colleges of different sizes, so I believe I am well qualified to give advice to parents who are about to send their teens off to college. I know what parents feel, but I also know what faculty members expect of those incoming freshmen.

There are three topics that parents should probably cover sometime before their children head off to college (assuming they are going away to college): 1) independent living, 2) the differences between college and high school, and 3) the opportunities of college.

First, it's imperative that parents discuss the changes that will occur in their children's life style when they attend college. For teens who are attending school more than commuting distance away, they will be living in dormitories, sorority or fraternity houses, or apartments. This represents a huge change in life style. Suddenly, the teens will be responsible for their own welfare and upkeep. They will have to supply their own food (or at least be certain they are present when meals are served in the dorm or the house). They will be responsible for their own laundry, personal belongings, car repair, and a host of other daily chores that many may have dumped onto their parents for the previous years of their lives. Some teens relish the responsibility of independent living; others flounder. As parents, you probably have a sense of which type your teens will become. It is up to you to support them as they take this intermediate step toward adulthood.

Secondly, parents need to discuss with their teens the differences between college and high school. The purpose and format of education change dramatically at the transition between high school and college. Education is no longer mandated by the government; it is now a privilege. In high school your teens were expected to go to school, but in college no such expectation exists. They are there because they want to bethat is the assumption. If they don't want to be thereno one will force them to stay (other than maybe you). College (even the smallest one) is much larger than high school. Many teens who might have been a big fish in a little pond in high school, may find themselves in a much smaller pond. Many students expect college to be as easy and their grades to be as good as in high school. When I was teaching, I cannot tell you the large number of freshmen who would come to me in private and tell me that they "had"

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