by Brandy Fee

Created on: January 21, 2007   Last Updated: May 14, 2007

This world, it's such a vile place
In every heart, on every face
Hate and anger,I see it there
Pain and grief, it's everywhere
In my world, a place full of rage
I look outside, from inside this cage
And you look in, you don't know me
I wish you felt it so you could see
The fire in my world, the tears that storm
The freezing pain of ice that forms
But you see not, yet try to understand

With curiosity, you reach out your hand
And I push you away, I can't let you near
It would be wrong to bring you here
To this world, a world all my own
An unbelievable habitat, surrounded by stone
Flee from here, from this vengeful land
Go now, you'll never understand
Save yourself, don't get caught in the rain
Run from me, don't try to share my pain
It's inconceivable, this life that I lead
It's uncontrollable, I stray with no heed
But I always return, it is safe for me here
I'm used to the traps, used to the fear
But you are not, you live life so well
You would be frightened if you step into my shell
So walk by, do not look my way
Know this is not just some game that I play
I hate it here, in my world of red
Hate it so much, I wish I were dead
But I live on, until the end
Each day brings a torn seam, none can mend
Each time that I sleep, I pray not to wake
For I have visions of my next mistake
And I shudder, at the thought of the scene
And I pray this is only a dream
But it's real, I feel it all
I have the scars, left from each fall
And I shed the blood from the open wound
I have the proof, yes I am doomed
To live in this world, my sacred hell
A fiery place I know so well
You would be lost, so many turns
So many flames, you would be burned
Yet it's so dark, you'd lose your sight
For there is no day, ire covers the light
Blackness enfolds me, it would you too
You'd run into walls, just as I do
Face first in the brick, every which way
and be lost, try as you may
To be found, if only it were so
There is no escape, wherever you go
In this world, you are forever chained
By crimson cuffs, for they are stained
I tried too, to be set free
But they held fast, cutting into me
Leaving scars that will never heal
Tender and raw, I shall always feel
Physical pain, and distress of the mind
With memories I can't leave far behind
In this world, do you still want to be
Do you dare try to live here with me
Or need I go on and still tell you more
Reopen old wounds, festering and sore
So I must, and I shall go on
Tell you of demons I wish were long gone
For even in sleep, I get no rest
They haunt me there too, that's where they hide best
In the shadows, in the corners of the heart
Waiting and watching to tear me apart
In this world they are such savage beasts
Lurking here and there waiting to feed
On my soul, the deepest part of me
Mocking me, never setting me free
In this world I am caught for life
Until I am brave enough to sharpen my knife
Or let it be, deal with the hurt
To put my heart on the sleeve of my shirt
And wear it well, wear it with pride
Standing tall with nothing to hide
But there is so much you can't know
So many things that I can't show
So I defy you, I lie and I laugh
Try not to reveal that this tears me in half
To be a secret, let no one in
For each time I do a new chapter begins
Of lost loves, hopes that soon died
Useless tears that I have cried
Of dreams that fell, crashed to the floor
Of keys I had hoped would open that door
Of those who criticize for the way I appear
Those too afraid, to ever get near
And yet you ask why I shut you out
Have you not understood what it's all about
It's my world I protect you from
For I know the fate destined to come
If I let you in, if you so dare
I know the ache lingering there
And that is all you need to know
I put down my pen, back to hell I must go

Copyright 2006

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