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My Plight

I am grieving-
For me,
For you;
My eyes have never cradled so many tears,
My heart has never been a more dismal place,
Each breath and my chest twists in agony.
The world has never seemed more like a cruel land, unfair.
You are I in an opposite parallel sense.
You breathed hope, joy, life
Into my icy lungs.
They warmed and I
Exhaled,
In-took air on my own again,

But now it's as if the evil hand
Has snatched that from me and
I am suffocating.
The weight on your shoulders
Is my burden also,
The pain leeching on your soul
Drains me as well.
I never knew anguish could be afflicted by someone not doing a thing,
My heart breaks, no shatters...
You,
The one who resides in your mind,
Are Astounding...
Extraordinary?
Inc redible?
Phenomenal?
Prodigious?
No, the English dictionary does not
Satisfy my call for a word to
Describe your marvel.
It is here I groan,
For I have reached an impasse.
I grieve because I do not
Know what to do.
So soon, too fast-
I think I love you.
And with that my throat again constricts,
And tears slither down my skin.
This be my puzzle and
Mine alone,
Eating at my heart, soul, mind-
Cancer.
Yes, my eye has searched you and seen.
I believe I have reached depths
You deemed unfathomable
For one who does not inhabit
Your household of memories.
I don't understand but somehow I Know.
O yes, you still make me
Smile, warm my essence,
But alas, it is now tainted by confusion and sorrow.
Every word, every kiss, every gaze of fervor,
Trust in each one.
It's just that I, as usual,
Wish I was wrong about
All the things I am right about.
I don't know what to do yet I know what to do;
I do but I don't, I don't but I do.
I once wished I had never
Sought you, found you,
But never could I mean it,
For not knowing you would have been
Fatal to my health.
The silent tears drip and
My heart bleeds,
And I now empathize with the quote,
"How can something so right be so wrong?",
And go a step further to ask,
"Why should something so good be so bad?"
Here I will leave you,
After this flash of light in the darkness,
Which is your understanding of my plight

Learn more about this author, Jessica Herd.
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