by Kim Bonnalie

Created on: January 13, 2009

If only there were a book an article a story which told us the perfect way to keep our marriages strong, passionate and everlasting. There would be so many more happy couples out there if they could just go to the library and look up the answer. The hard part is there is not, and even more damning is that not only is every marriage different, but every person is as well. What will work for one person or couple will not work for another. The only way to figure it out is by trial and error and a little advice doesn't hurt.

The first piece of advice I would give to men asking how to be a better husband is this: Don't forget the little things. Your wife does not need a 2 carat diamond necklace; she does not need a 2008 Mercedes or a brand new washer and dryer set. What she needs is the little stuff that shows you care. Get up early and make her coffee for her, or bring her a daisy just to show you were thinking of her. Maybe you could leave her a little love note on her car seat so when she's rushing to work she can think about how sweet it was of her husband to do this instead of thinking of the traffic.

Once you've realized these little things make the greatest difference, I would tell you the next step is to keep your passion alive. Not just by having sex, but take your time. So many times in so many marriages we get into routines. While the routine may "get the job done" they're no longer exciting, like they used to be. You know those times when you just couldn't make it through a movie and keep your hands off each other? Bring those times back by setting up something special. Light some candles or run a bubble bath; or perhaps a massage. You don't need to do this all the time, but it sure would be an exciting night every once in awhile.

The final step to becoming a better husband: listen. Women are very different in the way we talk, the way we express ourselves and what were thinking and feeling. If you truly listen, you will be much more capable of reaching compromises, agreeing, and getting along. Couples who take time to just sit and talk about nothing at all are much more apt to be able to sort out their problems by talking them through.

You may say you don't have time for these things. No time for bubble baths, for talking about nothing and lighting candles. Make time. If your marriage and relationship with your wife is important, you will find time to make it work. You will find ways. What good is a wife if you don't have time to be with her and spend time with her? These steps may not be foolproof and they may not be exactly what you need, but the fact of the matter is your already 10 steps ahead of most men out there. You took time to read this and think about it. That's 75% of it. Now just go buy a daisy.

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