by Ren Huff

Created on: January 13, 2009

I have often thought of buying a button-maker kit from the store and make one that says "I am autistic. I am not responsible for my actions." Then I would make my daughter wear it everywhere she goes, especially on her really bad days. What constitutes a bad day? It would either be the "everybody-hates-me day" or "I-am-going-to-lash-out-at-everyone day."

I used to wonder why people were so mean. Then I met a very special lady under unfortunate circumstances. Her one comment changed how I approach these people who think they have to give uninvited parental advice.

My daughter just had her first seizure. I was devastated and scared. She entered the hospital and stayed until the doctors got tired of convincing me she was not going to die. During that time a friend came to visit and said hurtful things such as "If you would clean out her nails regularly she wouldn't be sick." A nurse who was tending to my daughter overheard and waited to speak until after my friend had left.

I know that seizures aren't caused by dirty nails. The logic in that statement made no sense to me, until the nurse explained it. She said, "This is only the beginning. When you leave this hospital you will encounter numerous people who will try to explain why your daughter is sick. They will give outrageous claims and accusations. Ignore them and remember this: The reason they do this is because they can't explain the true reason, they do not like not having answers because they want to fix things, and therefore will make something up to make themselves feel better; all the while hoping that their logic will be the key to a cure."

I did not realize how often I would have to rely on that explanation. As the years progressed and my daughter's health concerns did too, ignorant people came out of the woodwork. Their logic made no sense but I knew they were just trying to help. They made statements like "You feed your child too many hot dogs," "You need to discipline them more," or "Your house must not be clean enough."

I remember a confrontation I had with my father not long ago. Every time I would call him to give a medical update he would have an outrageous explanation for every issue. He seemed to think that he knew more than the doctors. I had enough.

I had begun explaining our last visit to the doctor and before I could finish my father interrupted and began giving his diagnosis. This was a serious medical issue and I was already stressed out. I quickly stopped my father from speaking and said,

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