by Christine G.

Created on: January 13, 2009

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. So, why were they thrown together on Planet Earth?

"Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em." Both genders moan about the opposite sex. Despite our best efforts to be independent and self-reliant, most of us spend an inordinate amount of time and effort to find that perfect "better half" that somehow got lost in the cosmic lottery. Once we have found that special person, we spend an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to recreate Mr. or Ms Perfect in the image of our idealized selves.

Think about it! If all the time and effort we spend hunting partners and trying to change them were put into a useful project like world peace or inventing the perfect eco-friendly power source, this could be the world of our dreams.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Nonetheless, she is so committed to attracting one that she wears hazardous high-heeled shoes, obsesses about what to wear, and spends a fortune on gunk to put on her skin and hair.

A man needs a woman like a motorcycle needs training wheels. Nonetheless, he sucks in his gut, takes off his shirt to flex his muscles when it's two degrees below freezing, and tells lies in the locker room.

It's not just the sex. It's the glory of being half of a couple. Even when the bloom is off the rose, and it is clear that couplehood is a bad choice, it seems better to carry on, at least until a superior replacement can be found.

According to Genesis, God created woman because "it is not good for man to be alone", and no suitable companion for Adam could be found among the animals. According to feminists, when God created man, She was only joking.

The battle of the sexes and the exes has been going on ever since Eve asked Adam to change Cain's diaper, and Adam said that was woman's work. So, why did God set this scenario up? What was S/He thinking?

"Hmmm. It's too quiet around here. Let's liven things up a little."

"Adam is never going to figure out how to work the toilet seat on his own. I'll make him a helper."

"Talking to the animals is fine, but sometimes people need somebody that talks back."

"I can't be expected to do everything, so I'll create mothers and grandmothers to help out."

"Without women to nag them, men will never eat their vegetables or change their clothes."

"Love makes the world go round, so we need a lot of couplings to keep the world turning."

"Without a few sparks, they'll never realize how much they need Me."

Did God create us to be a source of entertainment, or something more? Are all those absurd things men and women do part of the master plan, or an unexpected side effect?

Can you hear divine laughter in the distance? I hope so. If God doesn't have a sense of humor, we're all in trouble.

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