by Heather Tomasello

Created on: January 12, 2009

How do you keep the romance alive when you're married with children? It may be more challenging than life before kids arrived on the scene, but the challenge definitely proves worth it. Here are ideas from couples who have children and manage to keep the flame of passion in their relationship ignited.
Life, B.C. and A.C.
Having children changes things. Friends warned us in advance, but advice doesn't equal experience. Or as our pastor told us during premarital counseling, "It is hard to talk about how cold Iceland is, until you actually go there."

Don't get me wrong. I love our three children and can't imagine life without them. But I have noticed two big changes in our relationship, A.C. (After Children) as opposed to B.C. (Before Children.)
Big Change #1: The Exhaustion Factor. Caring for children (especially toddlers and younger) can be emotionally and physically taxing. Forget keeping our love life fresh and renewed. I'd like to make it through a movie date without falling asleep!
Big Change #2: The Planning Factor. Our dates B.C. were often thrown together at the last minute. For example, here was our elaborate date planning on a typical Friday night:
"You wanna do something tonight?"
"Okay, like what?"
"Dinner and a movie?"
And we grabbed our coats.
Now, a date night is a complicated affair, requiring weeks of planning and preparation. We have to line up a baby sitter, feed our kids an early dinner, bathe them, and restock the diaper bag. We are lucky enough to trade date nights with friends, so we take our kids to their house. This means loading the car with the children, blankies, changes of clothes "just in case," the diaper bag, and the play pen. Then we grab our coats and the cell phone. Heaven forbid we leave behind the cell phone.
I'm quickly discovering that being a great parent and a great partner requires a balancing act. So I asked some of our older, wiser married-with-children friends how they do it.

Do Not Disturb
Jennifer, mother of five, shared one unique way she and her husband carve out time together: they have Saturday morning cartoon camp outs.
At least one Friday night each month, Jennifer packs a cooler with orange juice, milk, apples and bananas. She sets cereal, bowls, and utensils out on the table. Then the kids get out their sleeping bags and have a camp out in the living room. Saturday morning they're allowed to watch cartoons.
"The main rule is don't disturb the other campers,'" Jennifer says. "We don't do it every Saturday because I don't

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